


Find Your Way

by danke_rose



Series: World of Hox/Pox/Dox [2]
Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, M/M, No Sex, Not Canon Compliant, Other characters in minor roles - Freeform, not even any kissing what the heck, past relationship, regretting bad decisions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:21:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22883233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danke_rose/pseuds/danke_rose
Summary: Kitty--Kate Pryde--leads the Marauders and works with Emma Frost.  She doesn't know why Krakoa has rejected her, but she does know why she's lost her best friend.  And it's all her fault.  What's going on with Krakoa?  And can she and Kurt become friends again?
Relationships: Emma Frost & Kitty Pryde, Kitty Pryde/Kurt Wagner, Ororo Munroe & Kitty Pryde
Series: World of Hox/Pox/Dox [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2162625
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	1. It Hurts to Drown

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is. It does have a happy ending. I wanted to try something besides my usual friends-to-lovers-there-was-only-one-bed stuff (which I love and will write more of because it is my favorite) and this thing happened. 
> 
> Also, I hate plots. This one...exists.
> 
> This was also a bit of a reaction to the recent events in the Marauders comic, so if you haven't read it, there are a few spoilers here. But it's pretty divergent from the canon story.

Kate insisted she didn't think about him much anymore, but it was a lie.

She thought about him every day. Every time she lifted a sword or looked across the sea from the deck of the _Marauder_. She told herself it was better this way, he wasn't her type, he wasn't interested in someone like her. She preferred wondering why she couldn't use the gates to thinking about him, but she always circled back eventually.

Bobby and Pyro were laughing about something from a corner of the deck and Ororo stood at the bow beside Kate. How had she managed to fool them all into thinking she was a capable leader? That she wasn't scared every day, that she wasn't afraid of what might happen when they figured out, eventually, inevitably, why Krakoa was keeping her out?

When they docked at the island, she went straight to the Red Keep. Unless someone wanted her for something, she kept mostly to herself. The island didn't want her, and she didn't want to invite its temper by wandering around unnecessarily. Emma visited occasionally, keeping Kate informed about whatever fresh new hell was brewing. Sometimes the _Marauder_ left again immediately, but not this time.

This visit, like all the others, was bound to be long simply because Kate didn't want to be there. Being on Krakoa only reminded her that she didn't belong. It reminded her of friends she never saw and new friends she'd never make and how different she was from all of them. Days like this, when she felt more strongly the separation, she pulled out her old photo albums and flipped through, remembering the way things used to be.

Two days passed while Kate kept her own counsel, practicing with swords outside in the salty air. She remembered everything Kurt had taught her during all those Danger Room and Hologym sessions. Pirates, Barsoom villains, English bandits, French Musketeers—he'd fight any and all of them. And formal fencing, too, not that she had as much time for that these days. They used to have fun trying to outwit and out witty-remark each other. But that was a long time ago, before everything changed.

Kate was lost in thought, sitting at the open balcony doors when Emma Frost dropped in to see her. She'd come to tell her the Quiet Council was meeting shortly, and since Kate was here, they wanted her to attend.

“Did they say what for?” Kate asked, hoping she could find a way around attending. More often than not, she was off-island when the meetings were held, and that suited her fine. She didn't want to mingle with people she didn't like, didn't respect, or wasn't friends with anymore.

“No. You know they don't share anything with us beforehand, and Charles's head is impossible to get into. Not that I've tried, of course,” Emma rolled her eyes. “So secretive. Really, it's insulting.” She waited patiently, one hand on her hip while she inspected the nails of her other hand.

Kate glanced at the bottle of rum on her dresser and considered bringing it.

“I don't think Charles would approve,” Emma said. “So bring it along.”

She left it on the dresser, not sure why it brought her as much satisfaction to disappoint Emma as Xavier. Maybe she just wanted everyone to be miserable.

Kate sat between Emma and Shaw, chin in her hand, feigning boredom and refusing to look across the circle at anyone else for longer than it took to give the requisite polite wave of greeting. She noticed Ororo talking to Kurt and remembered days when _she_ sat beside him in meetings and tried to suppress giggles when he made sarcastic remarks under his breath. Kate sighed and turned her attention back to Xavier. Tried, anyway. She wasn't even sure why they were having this meeting, something to do with flowers and seeds and vines, and she didn't care. _Let me get back to my job._

At least when she was sailing on the _Marauder_ , she was helping people. Physically, not theoretically. She liked fighting, always had, and she liked helping. She was used to being alone, growing up an only child of two busy parents. She'd entertained herself plenty of lonely nights. Spending the last twelve years _not_ alone didn't mean she couldn't still handle it.

At long last the council was excused, when Kate had decided the meeting would continue into the early hours of morning. She bolted for the path home as fast as she could. Not fast enough. Ororo called to her, and Kate couldn't afford to ignore her. Ororo might be one of the only friends she had left. She and Kurt joined her for the walk to Red Keep, ambling along as if it wasn't nearing midnight. Kate kept her back straight and her eyes forward. She was annoyed, but she wondered if she was only hiding her shame about the gates and the Hellfire Club position. She preferred the anger. Besides, she didn't care what Kurt thought about her. They never saw each other anymore.

Ororo and Kurt did most of the talking, chatting about the sea and the rescues and _all the swords_. His voice washed through her the way a childhood home does upon the first visit after a long time away. She felt her throat tightening and decided she'd had enough.

She halted abruptly in the middle of the path. “I gotta go, you guys. Do you need anything?”

They both looked at her, slight surprise in their faces before they told her no, they didn't need a thing.

“Is anything wrong?” Ororo asked.

Kate shook her head. “No, it's just...the Keep is far, and it's late...”

“I can take you,” Kurt offered, and her face must have given him his answer, because he said, “unless you prefer the walk. It's a nice evening...” his voice trailed off, and Kate noticed the way Ororo touched his arm. When had Kate become the one who hurt him? Never mind. She knew the answer to that.

“Thanks, Kurt,” she said, to be polite, “I appreciate the offer. But, you know it makes me feel kinda queasy...”

“Of course. Have a good night. Kate.”

She stalked away as fast as she could without being too obvious, though her heart pounded so hard she might as well have run. She wouldn't think about what she was running _from_. She burst through her door, relieved to be back, but Red Keep offered no solace. She left immediately, walking on air to the _Marauder_ , but there was no peace to be found there, either. She stood at the rail and let the salt air fly into her face and dry her eyes. The stars above were winking down from a cloudless sky, mocking her. She recalled nights on an island in Scotland when she lay on the far side of the hill from the Research Center and looked at that sky with her friend.

 _I am over him. I have moved on_. She repeated the lies until she was calm enough to go back and sleep.

  
  


Night on this island was nothing like those quiet moments in Scotland. Here, there was dancing almost every night. Here, there were intimate connections being made almost every night, mutants taking their new laws seriously. _Make more mutants_. That was his contribution to the laws. She didn't understand why that had to be a law. What if she didn't want to make any mutants? Kate stayed away from the songs and the thumping beats and the wafting smell of food cooking on outdoor grills. She stayed in her isolated Red Keep and played with Lockheed and read books and made notes on her maps about places they'd been. She didn't need to go to those parties.

 _They don't want me there, anyway_.

She knew there were whispers about her among the mutants living on Krakoa. She knew they questioned her legitimacy and wondered if she was trustworthy. She couldn't use the gates after all, so was she even a real mutant? Did she belong on Krakoa at all, or worse yet, on their Council, among the rest of the confirmed mutants? She wondered how many had already asked Charles to send her away. She wondered what he said to them.

Piotr knocked at her door, dressed up as he had for their first date. Years ago a friend had made sure that date went well, had made sure Piotr dressed up and gave her a flower. Kate was half tempted to let Piotr in this night as well, to let him fill her senses up and drown everything else out. To fulfill at least part of that law. She couldn't quite bring herself to do it. He left, disappointed, but nodding his understanding as he passed through a gate, taking a shortcut back to the party. At least he didn't hate her, and she had to be grateful for that. He hadn't brought her a flower tonight.

In the morning she waited impatiently for Emma's scheduled visit, praying for a reason to leave again. Even if it was to bring Logan more whiskey.

“So anxious, Kate?” Emma said in her head before she arrived.

“Yeah. So where to?” Kate said, opening the door more eagerly than she intended.

“Shaw is making a move at last,” Emma said. “And he's going to set you up.”

She explained, sharing what she'd gleaned from his backstabbing mind when he wasn't paying attention, and Kate took it all in, growing angrier and more annoyed. Shaw was a man she didn't trust, didn't like, and didn't want to deal with at all. Now he was going too far.

“He wants me off the Council?”

“Yes. He's so jealous, poor thing.” Emma shook her head. “Just can't stand to be outplayed. So shall we do it again?”

“Hell yes,” Kate said, and Emma smiled.

“I had a feeling you would like this plan.”

  
  


Kate sailed into his trap, prepared for it. She knew Shaw would come for her, but she was counting on staying one step ahead of him. She didn't count on him going after Lockheed. The jackass had the gall to drop her dragon overboard, caught up in a net. She begged Shaw to save him, but he refused. Where was Emma? Where was her rescue? Vines pulled her under the water, even as she struggled, as she called her threats to Shaw.

The water closed over her mouth and nose, and before she lost consciousness she thought it hurt more than it should to drown.


	2. Green and Blossoming

_Everything hurts and I'm dying_.

Kate's first conscious thought after that was _where is Lockheed_? She blinked and coughed, and that was funny because being resurrected shouldn't make her cough. And why were her clothes wet?

She hadn't been resurrected. She just wasn't dead.

“Lockheed?” she called, sputtering and coughing up more water and bile.

The dragon curled around her shoulders and Kate cried, pulled him into her arms, and kissed his scales, salty from the seawater. Lockheed was alive. He was wet and cranky, but alive. Around her, familiar voices spoke in whispers and soft hushed tones until she lifted her head to look around. Her head ached, her chest ached, and she coughed again. She tried to get up, but a firm hand pressed against her shoulder, easing her back down on the cot.

“Not yet,” Ororo said, moving around in front so Kate could see her at last. “I am sorry we cut it so close. We did not anticipate him attacking Lockheed. Finding him in the water was...challenging.” Ororo sat on the edge of the bunk, which Kate realized wasn't a bunk at all. It was a bed, in an opulently decorated room. There was a fireplace and ornate wooden furniture. This was not the _Marauder_. It was also not a hospital room. She didn't know where she was.

Her eyes teared up again at the mention of Lockheed's near-death, and she cuddled him closer. “Neither did I,” she tried to clear her throat, but it hurt. “But he's going to pay.”

Ororo sighed. “Yes, he will, eventually. For now, he believes you're dead.” Ororo took a glass of water with a straw in it, handed to her over Kate's body, and held it to her mouth. “Thirsty?”

It was cold, and made her cough again, but she drank a little more anyway. “What happened?” Kate asked at last. Ororo started to answer, then stopped.

A door opened behind her and someone walked across thick carpet. Emma's triumphant face grinned down at her.

“I took a few extra precautions, darling. And now you aren't dead. Shaw believes the protocols will fail you, and you're gone for good. Won't he be surprised when you show up to share his sins with the Council?” Emma was positively beaming. Getting Shaw kicked off the Quiet Council would give her another seat. No doubt Emma was as involved in this game as Shaw. Kate didn't like being a pawn.

“You should have told me,” she said, snarling in a way that would have made Logan proud.

“I wasn't sure it was necessary, and if not, then better for all involved to be... _not_ involved.” Emma's eyes flicked over Kate's head and back. If Kate hadn't been so used to reading the nearly imperceptible motions of someone else's eyes, she might have missed it. There was someone else in the room.

She ignored that for now. “But what happened? How am I here?” She tried again to sit up and the same firm hand pressed her back down, still on her side. That same hand began rubbing gently up her back, over and over. She knew who it was then, and she had to keep her eyes on Emma far too long before she could even say his name.

“Hey, Kurt.”

His breath was loud in her ear as he bent to kiss her cheek. “ _Hallo,_ Kate.”

Her new name sounded flat every time he said it, and she wished he'd call her Kätzchen. But that was his friend's name, and she was no longer his friend.

“Emma?” he said. Kate recognized the commanding tone of his voice, though he rarely used it. He rarely needed to. People simply did what he asked because they liked him. She could imagine the set of his jaw and the single raised brow over eyes that flashed a warning— _answer the question_.

Emma feared no one, but she respected Kurt enough to pay attention when he was annoyed. She explained that she had expected Shaw's betrayal, which Kate already knew. Because she didn't know to what lengths the man would go to succeed in getting rid of Kate, she arranged to have backup on hand for such a situation. She'd been digging around in the man's head long enough to know he had those seeds. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he planned to do with them once the events finally fell into place. The _Marauder_ hadn't gone far when she separated from Kate and their newly-acquired vessel. It had remained cloaked and running silently as it followed.

Once Shaw was gone, swept away by helicopters and leaving behind a few of his own men to run the ship home, Emma's team had deployed. They took back the ship and everything on it. Kate and Lockheed were brought on board and now all the data in the ship's computers was being sent to Krakoa.

“Why is Kurt here?” she said, edging away from him. He stopped rubbing her back.

“He asked to help, and I let him,” Emma said with a dismissive wave. “The Quiet Council will meet, and Shaw will stand trial,” Emma continued. “I simply cannot wait to see his face when you walk in, alive and well.”

  
  


Kate didn't know when she fell asleep, only that the room was dark and empty when she woke. She sat up, relieved to have at last escaped the hands that insisted she rest. She was promptly rewarded with a hacking coughing fit. She slid off the bed, doubled over on her knees, coughing until she gagged.

She took the cloth he handed her, chiding herself for being foolish enough to think she'd be left alone.

“Thanks,” she managed, her throat raw and her voice gravelly.

“Where are you going?” Kurt said, offering his hand. She laid hers in it reluctantly, watched his fingers curl around her palm. He might have been closing that hand around her heart.

“Bathroom,” she said, which was a partial truth. If she'd told him she'd intended to go up on deck, he would have scolded her. She wasn't in the mood for his protectiveness.

“It was you, wasn't it?” she said when she came out and found him crouched in a velvet chair, waiting for her. She made her way back to the bed, a single light glowing for her benefit, not his.

“Hm?”

“Never mind.” She wanted to believe he had been the one to pull her and Lockheed from the water, to imagine him hacking the vines away, hauling her to the surface and breathing life into her. More likely he'd been fighting Shaw's crew or steering the ship or something else.

Kate stood beside the bed, swaying slightly from the motion of the boat or her spinning head or both. She heard the soft sound of his long feet on plush carpet, and then he draped a blanket over her shoulders. She felt thirteen again, vulnerable and hurt. This time, there were no jokes at her expense, no suggestions that the disaster was her fault. She cursed herself for her weakness as she lifted tired eyes to his, full of compassion. Was it so wrong to let someone else be strong for a moment?

 _Yes_! _You don't need anyone_! she screamed to herself even as she was turning towards him, even as his arms were pulling her to his chest.

She shoved the stubborn thoughts aside. One little moment of comfort, of weakness, wouldn't hurt. He wouldn't tell people, he wouldn't talk about how Kate Pryde, courageous Captain of the _Marauder_ , fell apart in his arms after being nearly drowned by Sebastian Shaw. He'd always kept her secrets.

  
  


They would reach Krakoa by mid afternoon, Emma informed her the next day. Kate had slept until the sun was streaming through the windows of the room in which they'd put her.

“Ororo is back on the Marauder, and they will arrive first. Hopefully Shaw won't see this coming.” Emma ran her hand over the back of a chair. “It is nicely appointed, I will say that. Too much blue for my taste.”

Kate asked, in a voice she hoped was casual, “Where's Kurt?”

“Sleeping,” Emma said, and her expression meant Kate had not sounded casual at all. “Fuzzy idiot stayed awake all night worrying you'd drown in your sleep.”

Kate rubbed her temples. Of course he would do that. “Is there any food?”

  
  


They sailed slowly, not in any hurry. Shaw needed to arrive first, weave his web of lies to Charles and the rest of the Council. Let him have his moment in the sun before he fell to lasting darkness.

When the island came into view at last, Kate realized with a shock that she didn't want to be there. She didn't want to set even one foot on that soil. Shaw had been right about one thing—Krakoa had rejected her. She didn't know why, but it had, and she could feel the rest of the inhabitants warming up to the idea. Lockheed purred his dragon sound against the back of her neck as she watched the shore approaching from inside the plush cabin.

No deck walking now, it would spoil Shaw's surprise.

“I don't want to go, Lockheed,” she said, petting his narrow head. The cabin door creaked and, too late, she realized she wasn't alone any longer.

“Do you have to sneak in like that?” she said, hoping irritation would hide her embarrassment at being found out.

“Your door was open.”

She huffed and folded her arms, leaning against the wall beside the porthole. He always seemed to take her temper in stride, and she found herself wanting to tell him everything. He was far too easy to talk to, and there was always the danger of telling him too much. There was always the danger of a repeat of her worst mistake because she could not stay away from him.

“I don't want to do this. Krakoa doesn't want me. _They_ don't want me,” she jerked her hand towards the island. “Even if they punish Shaw, I still won't belong there.”

“Of course you belong there. All mutants do,” he said. He didn't lean against the wall, but stood, tail swaying with the movement of the ship, feet braced apart. He was made for this life. She wondered why he hadn't asked to join her, then just as abruptly shoved the thought away. The answer was obvious.

She frowned and concentrated on the scenery outside the window, growing bigger every minute. She could make out the foliage on the island now, always green and blossoming. _Go away_ , it said to her.

“There's a reason I can't use the gates. A reason Krakoa doesn't want me.” It was the closest she'd come to admitting she was afraid she wasn't a mutant at all, but something else. Something mysterious.

“And you know what it is?” he said.

“If I knew, don't you think everyone would know?”

“Sometimes you keep things to yourself.” He leveled his gaze at her, and she looked away.

“I don't know anything about the gates or why I can't use them.” she said.

He sighed, deep and heavy. He began to wander around the cabin, slowly, looking at all the frivolous items secured in place with some kind of putty. “You should come back. Maybe if you stayed on the island a while you could find some answers.”

She cocked her head at him. “Or get killed.”

She watched his lips twitch, trying not to grin as he pulled a book off a shelf to read the title. “I doubt it.”

“Who just got pulled out of the ocean?”

“Fair enough. But you can't drown on the island.”

Kate leaned away from the wall. “Forget it. You're trying way too hard to convince me there's nothing wrong...why?” She crossed her arms and glared at him. “Did Piotr put you up to this, to try to get me to visit more often?”

Kurt's face fell. “No. And I wasn't trying to convince you to do anything. I've never done that.”

She huffed dismissively and turned to the window, waiting for him to leave. She'd been unpleasant enough to drive anyone away, even famously tolerant Kurt Wagner. She thought of Pete Wisdom, how Kurt had put up with him even though he couldn't stand him.

He said softly, “Do you remember when we were friends?”

The pain in her chest was probably a heart attack, most likely caused by nearly drowning. Or it was pleurisy. Possibly a pulmonary embolism.

He sighed, waiting for an answer she didn't give, then he did turn to go.

“I remember,” she whispered, arms tight around her chest.

He stopped in the corridor but didn't come back into the room.

She wanted to blame him, shout that it was all his fault, but it wouldn't do any good. She'd known what she was doing. She had known the risks, the probability for each possible outcome. She'd allowed it anyway.

The ship pitched as it docked, but he barely seemed to feel it. “We're here,” he said. He came back, moving past her to look out the porthole. When he stood up straight again, he said, “I don't understand what happened.”

She glanced out the window and he stepped closer. How did he do this to her, render her speechless and incapable of rational thought simply by standing near her? Why was she so susceptible to it? And, oh god, why did it still hurt so much?

“There's nothing to understand.”

And still, he remained in the room. Why didn't he leave? “I will wait with you,” he said, and all she could do was shrug.

Everything she'd built up against him was crumbling, like a joke, like those walls weren't even real to begin with. Soon she'd be smiling and giggling like an idiot every time he said something. Soon she'd be falling into his arms and... _No_. No, she'd rebuild the walls. She would not let _that_ happen. Never again.

Emma came down with instructions to wait until the Council began. “You can't stay here,” she told Kurt.

“Why not?” He replied, and Kate was surprised at his irritation.

“Because they'll wonder where you are. You never miss Council meetings.”

Emma was right. “She's right,” Kate said. “You should go. I do things solo these days, anyway.”

A look flashed in his eyes, and he left without another word. Kate watched from the porthole as he and Emma teleported onto the beach. Ororo was there, too, and the three of them disappeared into the green, flowery jungles of Krakoa.


	3. Swords in an Umbrella Stand

They sentenced Shaw that afternoon, after Kate's miraculous appearance at the Council meeting. She had to admit it was rather satisfying to see his face go blank and cold when she walked into the circle. She testified to his attack, his attempted murder of both her and Lockheed, and the motives he'd shared with her as she floundered in the sea. Jean read Shaw's mind and confirmed everything. Shaw put up a fight, but in the end, when Krakoa decided he didn't belong, there wasn't much even Sebastian Shaw could do about it. Watching him be sucked into the depths of the island made Kate's stomach turn and the fear rise in her chest. She hadn't been on the council when Sabretooth was tried, and she was shocked that was how Krakoa and the Council punished mutants? Locking them away forever in the heart of the island, neither alive nor dead? She shuddered. It was too much like drowing.

Kate didn't wait to be excused from the meeting. She had to get off this island before it ate her, too. This time, she ran, ignoring the looks from former teammates and friends when she passed them, from those who would have been fellow citizens if they hadn't been whispering about her. She was almost to the beach when she went down hard, eating a mouthful of sand.

The vines had her again, pulling her not to the ocean this time, no simple drowning for her now. She kicked and fought and screamed, knowing she would be sucked into the earth to wait a thousand lifetimes in darkness. She tried to phase, but the vines were impervious, nothing could stop them. Panicking, she grabbed at roots and small trunks as she was dragged along the jungle floor, back to the center of the island. No one would find her this time. No one would save her. She tried to scream again, but the vines covered her mouth. Krakoa wanted her dead.

She'd be dragged back to the Council meeting place, and they'd all laugh as she was pulled into the island. She passed no one along her way, vines relentlessly pulling, pulling. They stopped as abruptly as they'd begun, dropping her onto a hard packed floor.

Kate scrambled to her feet, gasping for full breaths, and trying to figure out where she was. The vines had disappeared, slithering away to wherever they'd originated. She spun in a frantic circle, scanning the room's equipment and looking for exits. It looked like a control center, but for what, she didn't know. The island was as much a mystery to her as any of the hidden enemy bases they'd snuck into over the years. The round room was empty and silent, but there was information on the screens and as she read it, she began to change her mind about Krakoa.

The island wasn't keeping her out. Someone else was.

  
  


Her hands shook as she scrolled down, down, down. Plans, schemes, _deaths_. Each one fully thought out, _scheduled_ , and executed—pun intended. She heard footsteps and unfamiliar voices. Someone was coming, several someones, so she bolted. She wasn't taking any chances on that someone finding her here and forcing Krakoa to kill—no, not kill, _store_ —her.

Her first thought was, as always, to find Kurt and tell him he was right. Her second thought was to tell herself to shut the hell up and keep it all to herself. Let the others deal with it, let them risk their resurrectable lives. She walked through the main common space, forcing her legs to move slowly along the paths. When mutants looked at her, she waved to them. There _wasn't_ anything wrong with her. Krakoa hadn't rejected her after all. She did belong here, if only these people could understand. Some waved back, some didn't, but all of them looked confused or skeptical or distrustful.

They didn't know what she knew now. They still thought of her as the maybe-mutant who couldn't use the gates and therefore couldn't be trusted. She stopped waving and hurried towards the Red Keep. Once there, she discovered pacing didn't change anything, but she couldn't sit still. Someone wanted her dead, wanted a _lot_ of people dead, and whoever it was had found a way to convince Krakoa to keep her away as much as possible.

She'd always been one with a plan. Until Kurt really took over in Excalibur, when Kate was wrapped up with Pete instead of her team, she'd been the planner, the one who figured things out and turned them around. Today she didn't have a clue.

Someone knocked at the door and she jumped. She had to calm down. She was too on-edge, too easily startled and that would leave her open to attack. She took a deep breath, drew a sword, and opened the door.

Emma barely glanced at it as she strolled in. “Do you have plans today?”

“None, are we getting out of here at last?” Kate's voice wavered slightly.

She tipped her head at Kate, and pulled up a chair. “Eager to leave?”

“Yeah. I hate it here.”

“Really? Island paradise for mutants, where anything goes except killing humans, and you hate it?”

“Yes. I don't—I'd rather be sailing.”

Emma smiled and leaned back. “Sorry to disappoint you today. You and I are meeting with my brother and Shinobi.”

Inside, Kate let the anger fill her. She'd be more focused if she was angry or annoyed. And it drowned out the fear enough for her to think. “What the hell for?”

“Now that his father is out of the game, Shinobi Shaw is taking over as Black King. We need to learn what he wants.”

“Can't you just read his mind like you did with Shaw? Sebastian?”

“I could, and I will. But I'd like to see what he tells us. We'll learn a lot more by talking to him than if I just read his mind. I want to know if he plans to be honest with us or not.”

Kate paced, tapping the sword on the tip of her boot.

Emma yawned. “You're looking scruffier than usual.”

“Yeah. I enjoy rolling in dirt.” Kate kicked the tip of her sword. Bad form, but she didn't care. Kurt wasn't here to fuss at her about it, and if he was, she'd...she didn't know what she'd do, and he wasn't here so she kicked the sword again. “When are we meeting?”

“Right now, if you can put on something clean.”

“I'm not interested in impressing anyone.”

  
  


Shinobi was waiting in the same place they'd met Sebastian before he set them up. He looked less angry than one might expect a man to be whose father had been sentenced to life in...the earth.

“Ladies,” he said, bowing.

His bow wasn't nearly as dashing as Kurt's, with his sweeping hand motions and silly grin. Shinboi was all stiff manners and posturing. Kurt—she stopped herself. _Business_.

Hours of negotiating and working out the details of trade runs, botched trades and their reparations, recompense for this and that...Kate's head ached. She wouldn't leave until they were done, though. She wouldn't back down and let Shinobi think she could be easily taken out, as Sebastian had.

It was dark when they finally finished, and Lockheed lit a fire to light Kate's way home, alone after Emma used a gate to return to her White Palace or wherever she went when she was on her own. Kate was looking forward to a warm bath and clean clothes. At her door, the shadows rippled and moved, and she put a hand on her sword.

“You've been gone all day,” Kurt said, stepping into the small circle of Lockheed's flame.

“I was working,” she snapped. “Have you been here the whole time? 'Cause that's creepy.”

He laughed, and the sound went directly to her mind, jogging too many memories too fast. She grabbed the knob and opened the door, stalked inside and lit every light.

“I came by twice,” he said, stepping into her doorway. “I heard you coming back so I waited.”

“What for?” She didn't invite him in, and he didn't ask. She put the sword away, dropping it into a bin of others, stolen and collected over the months of _Marauding_. “Don't say it,” she barked before he could address the poor care and keeping of her swords. She could almost hear his teeth grinding over it. “Oh, fine, come in and take care of them,” she said, throwing herself onto the bed. She felt bruised all over and she was filthy from Krakoa's little trip through the woods. And now, dammit, she couldn't even have her bath.

Kurt fairly leaped into the room and started pulling the swords out of the bin, set into it like umbrellas. He scowled in her direction and she laughed.

“I don't have time to baby them,” she said.

“Some of these are well-made, Kät—Kate. You shouldn't throw them around.”

She huffed at him and rolled to her side. Krakoa had produced something gooey and slick, and Kurt sat cross-legged on the floor wiping the blades down. Krakoa was strange, Kate thought, looking at the rags that hadn't been there and the stone he was using to hone the blades she'd dulled in her carelessness.

“They won't work properly if they're dull,” he continued. “You should have reliable weapons to protect yourself.”

“I don't need protection. Nothing can touch me.”

He was kind enough not to say anything.

“Almost nothing,” she amended quietly. “So what do you want? Need something from the mainland? German beer?”

“ _Nein_ , I have a question.”

“You don't want German beer?”

“Of course I do, but that's not what I came here for. You aren't the delivery woman.”

 _Tell that to Logan_. She sat up and peeled off the ruined red coat she'd taken to wearing, tossing it aside to be cleaned and repaired by mysterious forces. Boots next, and belt. Kurt shifted on the floor, his eyes flicking from her to the swords as he cleared his throat.

Kate laughed at his discomfort. “What do you want, Kurt?” she said, tucking one foot under her on the end of the bed.

He set the sword he was working on across his knees and regarded her a long time. “ _What_?” she repeated, becoming annoyed and impatient.

“Why do you hate me?” he said at last.

She sat back, surprised at his question and the hurt in his tone. He finished polishing the sword and laid it neatly on the floor beside the others he'd cleaned. The next one had an intricately carved handle, and he turned it over in his hands and held it aloft before laying it on his lap.

“I don't hate you,” Kate said. “I've never hated you.” She should send him away before he asked the questions she knew would come, questions she wouldn't be able to lie her way out of because it was him.

“Are you certain? Because you left—”

“I'm _sure_. Why are you bringing this up?” But she knew exactly what he was doing and this was the very reason she'd stayed away from Krakoa. _Don't do this_ , she begged him silently.

“You left without explanation and refused to speak to me for months. When you're here, you avoid me.”

Her face was hot, guilt fueling the heat of her blush. “I avoid everyone,” she said.

“That isn't true. And even if it was...why aren't we friends anymore? I don't understan—”

“I don't have _any_ friends, Kurt,” she snapped, hopping off the bed.

“The Marauders—”

“ _Aren't_ my friends.” She stalked towards him, fists clenched at her sides.

“Yes, they are—”

“No! I have Lockheed and that's it, and it's already too much risk. People want me dead, Kurt, and that means anyone I care about is in danger, too.”

He stood up, dropping a sword with a clatter. Kate stepped back, unused to his anger being directed at her. “That's nothing to do with you and me. It's an excuse, and a poor one. We all take that risk, every day. The world wants us all dead. Should we give up everything that matters because of that? Give in to them, let them rule our lives? Let them dictate whether or not we are happy in whatever time we have on this plane?”

He was in her face now, chest puffed out and hands on his hips.

He took a deep breath. “That's not what I came to talk about.”

She could feel his eyes on her as she struggled over what to do. Part of her, the old part that still loved him, wanted to tell him everything, from what she'd seen in that mysterious control room, to how she felt about him. The new part wanted to protect her heart. The tightrope between the two was dangerous, but she set one foot on it anyway. She was so weak. But she wouldn't talk about the two of them. He couldn't make her. There was nothing left there, and it was better to let it die.

“Something happened today,” she said. “Krakoa... It's not the island keeping me out. It's someone _on_ the island.”

“What happened? How do you know this?” he said, his voice returning to the gentle tones of her former best friend. This was the voice he'd used to soothe her when she was angry about Pete, or Piotr, or SHIELD taking her away from the team when they needed her. She knew what he was doing.

She was lonely and weak and here he was, offering his friendship again after everything that had happened.

“Krakoa wouldn't let me leave. I thought it was going to kill me like Shaw...” she shivered at the thought. “Instead it showed me a room full of computers, all the evidence was there.”

“Who? Where was it? What did you see?” He bounced forward, ready to leap out the window and go after someone.

Kate folded her arms tighter across her chest. “I don't know who. I didn't want to take a chance being caught and being dragged down like Shaw...” She swallowed. Why did they do this to their own people?

She could feel him humming with nervous energy and nowhere to expend it. Though she hated how her willpower failed her every time with him, she stepped closer. His arms were familiar heavy weights around her shoulders, his chin on her head a little too pointy, the smell of brimstone clung to his uniform like always.

And then he said, “I would save you.”

“What? Why?” How could he still care?

“How can you ask that? I would save you without hesitation.” He tensed up, when she pulled away, and stammered. “I know you don't need rescuing, I _know_. You're no damsel, I know that.”

She nodded and picked up one of the swords he'd polished, admiring it.

“I miss you,” he said. “I miss you every day. Why do you stay away from me? What did I do?”

Images flashed through her mind. His hands on her, his tail wrapped around her leg, lips at her neck and moving lower. She was such a fool.

“I...It's complicated. You know that.”

“I can handle it.”

Damn him. Damn him for being so good to her for so many years, for being so warm and affectionate, for always listening. It made her want to open up to him again, open up and let him in again...

He waited, and she filled the silence. “It seemed like a good time to let go.”

She wasn't looking at him, but she heard the soft intake of his breath, imagined his face, realization sinking in, her words like swords. She hated to make him hurt like that, no matter what he'd done or hadn't done. She'd rather bear it herself.

“It was a mistake.”

She kept her back to him, shame and pain making her face hot. She wished he'd leave now. Let her grieve her loss alone.

“You decided that on your own,” he said.

“Yes,” she said, daring to turn a little. “I did. Is there anything else you wanted to know? Any other painful bit of our past you'd like to dredge up tonight?”

“No.” He lowered his head. “I hoped I was wrong. I hoped...”

She narrowed her eyes at him. What was this new game? “I'm just Kitty,” she said. “That's all. It was a momentary lapse of judgment and...”

“I understand,” he said, turning to go.

“It's better this way, Kurt. It's too hard...”

“This is what you want?”

 _No, no, no_ , she didn't want this. “Yes.”

He paused beside the swords as he headed to the door. “Take better care of these,” he said.

“Kurt...I don't know what to do.”

He wrapped his hands around his neck and sighed. “That's fair,” he said. “Why don't we start with an honest conversation?”

“Okay. But not right now. I'm filthy and tired.”

“Let me know when.”

“Okay. I'll be in touch.”

He left quietly, and she ran to the bathroom, ripping the dirty clothes off as hot water poured into the tub. She sobbed into a towel, deep heaving cries. She had to stay away from him or she'd only hurt herself again. He was the master of charm, a flirt, a walking list of one night stands. He'd play her, play with her, and be gone the moment another woman caught his eye.


	4. Lies in Silence

Emma pounded on her head with her thoughts, waking her.

“Dammit, what is it?” Kate said aloud, holding a pillow over her head to block out the light.

Emma's laughter was annoying. “We have a job.”

“Great. When do we leave?”

  
  


She didn't tell Kurt she was leaving. Refugees trying to leave North Korea were, not surprisingly, being shot at. The gate there was being surrounded by a massive stone wall, guarded and electrified. The latest group of mutants trying to leave had been detained nearby in a holding cell, presumably awaiting processing, or, in other words, death.

She was loading the _Marauder_ when her crew arrived, along with Logan. And Kurt. Dammit. Bobby and Pyro and Ororo carried their things on board. From shore, Logan called to her.

“Hey, Half-Pint,” he yelled. “Bring the good stuff this time.”

Kate waved back in acknowledgment, refusing to look at Kurt. The ship was ready, the course plotted at last. Pyro and Bobby were in the hold making it ready for the refugees, and Ororo had joined Kate on deck. The wind whipped Kate's hair from her ponytail into her face, and she ignored it rather than turn into the headwind and see Kurt.

“We can't underestimate North Korea,” Kate began.

“Kurt misses you,” Ororo said.

“I'm not discussing it,” Kate said.

“He doesn't deserve—”

“You don't know what happened between us, and I'd appreciate if you'd keep your uninformed opinions to yourself.”

Ororo looked shocked and hurt, but she said, “Yes. Of course.”

  
  


It wasn't North Korea that worried her, if she was being honest. It was the mysterious Verendi group she'd heard mentioned a few times during the fight with Shaw's group. Who was Verendi? She sat up in her bunk, unable to stop thinking about them. She listened to the now-familiar noises of her ship as it lay anchored for the night, cloaked with new technology purchased by the Hellfire Club before the Incident with Shaw.

What would they find in North Korea? Would Shinobi follow in his father's footsteps or would he prove a worthier Black King? What would happen with Krakoa? Would Verendi's people come after them again? There was no way to know any of it. Lockheed, at her feet, lay snoring softly, and she was careful not to wake him when she slid out of the bunk. She padded softly down the corridor, dragging her fingers along the walls and thinking about the people sleeping behind these closed doors. People she cared about, even when she tried to deny it. Some of her closest friends. Bobby, a friend. Pyro, a teammate. Ororo, like an aunt or a mother to her. She hadn't been kind to her, and she was sorry about that. She'd apologize in the morning. Ororo would understand. Maybe. And if not...

She floated up to the main deck and looked up at the stars. It was slightly cloudy, not all of them visible tonight, but it was still pretty. She thought about that other night, under another sky of stars. She'd known it was a mistake, letting him get to her like that. It was absolute stupidity on her part and some game on his, she was sure. She'd be a fling, a passing interest and when he tired of her, he'd leave her. So she hadn't given him the chance.

It didn't matter anymore, it _couldn't_ matter. She had to be strong and stay away from him. She put her head on her arms and refused to cry.

  
  


She was right about North Korea not being the problem. Their wall and their guns were easily thwarted, and most of the refugees were able to make it through the gate to Krakoa before the soldiers blew it up. The remaining few were getting comfortable below decks, and the Marauders had turned their attention to the gunship that faced them in the harbor. The flag wasn't North Korean, but some symbol Kate didn't recognize. So far, no shots had been fired and her team stood on deck while the _Marauder_ inched past the vessel. They could see the faces of the crew as they passed, and Kate didn't take her hands from the railing.

As soon as they were directly beside the ship, small portholes in the sides of the hull opened up like camera lenses and a barrage of gunfire rained down on them. Kate gripped the railing as the bullets passed harmlessly through them all and Bobby at the helm cranked up the engines to full speed. The wake of the ship, even phased as it was, rocked the attackers. With refugees on board, she didn't want to risk fighting back.

The _Marauder_ was a fast ship, nearly uncatchable. The other ship gave chase, but leisurely, unconcerned with catching up.

“Something isn't right,” Ororo said.

“No kidding. Bobby, slow down a second,” Kate called. She scanned the horizon in every direction, but nothing was there. Nothing she could see.

Until the second, larger ship de-cloaked.

“Oh shit.”

“How did they know where we would be?” Ororo said. “And how did they acquire our cloaking technology?”

“Who are they?” Bobby asked.

Kate didn't know the answer to any of their questions. She only knew the refugees on board were counting on them to get to Krakoa safely.

“Ororo, can you get me and Pyro onto one of those ships?”

“I can.”

  
  


Kate ignored the twisting of her stomach as she phased through the ships computerized controls. On deck, Pyro and Lockheed were burning everything that would catch. Meanwhile Bobby had iced up the gun ports on the second ship, the one that had tailed them from the harbor. Ororo's lighting shorted out its controls and when the two groups were finished, the enemy ships floated listlessly. They dumped crew members overboard as fast as they could, incapacitating those left on board.

Looking back as they sailed away, Kate waved to the enraged crew members who were being dragged from the water onto the ships. By the time the crews had repaired the two vessels, the _Marauder_ would be long gone.

  
  


She found Ororo at the rail, in her usual place, where she could feel free in the ocean air. Kate stood beside her, holding the rail.

“I'm sorry,” she said.

“For what?”

Kate sighed. “I'm sorry for snapping at you about Kurt. I just don't want to talk about it.”

“That's your right.”

“But I didn't have to be like that to you.”

“No. You didn't. But it was your choice.” Ororo turned to her. “If I may offer you some advice, Kitten? Be careful how many of your friends you push away. You may find you need them some day.”

Kate's eyes widened. “What are you saying?”

“The world is a lonely place. Friends are hard to come by. Are you sure you want to be alone?”

She stiffened. “I've always been alone, Ororo.”

She laughed. “That is perhaps the biggest lie I've ever heard you tell yourself.” Ororo left the rail before Kate could respond, letting her ponder her own words.

  
  


Kate had never been so happy to be back on Krakoa. Bobby, Pyro, and the refugees headed inland as soon as the ship docked. Ororo flew off to report to Xavier what they'd learned about Verendi. Kate's report to Emma was first on her list of things to do.

Red Keep was close to the dock, out of necessity. Kate couldn't be expected to cross the entire island every time she brought the crew home. They could use the gates. It was a short hike up a gradual incline, the path surrounded by the strange wild flowers that grew in abundance on the island. They served numerous purposes, and took a little trial and error to learn, unless Doug Ramsey was around to translate.

From the beach, she gazed up at it. It wasn't home, but it was her own space, and Lockheed had already flown ahead. She started the climb, tired, bruised, and empty. Ororo had made a point, but Kate wasn't pushing her friends away, they were abandoning her. Weren't they?

Inside the Keep, she eyed the pile of swords on the floor. She hadn't bothered to put them away when Kurt left that night, and she wasn't in the mood now, either. She stepped over them and went to get cleaned up and changed. Krakoa left her a meal in her main room and she ate it alone, in silence.


	5. Shadows of Friends

“They've called another Council meeting,” Emma said. She sat at Kate's table sipping wine while Kate finally picked up her swords.

“What the hell for this time?”

“Mystique made a request.”

“That requires the entire Quiet Council?”

“Apparently Charles thinks so. Will you attend?”

Kate didn't answer. Attending meant seeing Ororo and Kurt again, and she wasn't ready to face either of them.

“I guess I have to since I'm here. You're sure there's nothing pressing we're needed for?” Kate finished dumping swords into the stand, pausing to look at the intricate handle of the sword Kurt had admired. She felt the loss of him more keenly than before.

Emma broke the silence. “Why don't you give it to him?”

“What?”

“The sword. Take it to him. Make a peace offering. You're too distracted lately and it's annoying.” Emma tipped the wine glass back to finish it.

Kate scowled. “I'm not distracted. I'm pissed. There's a difference.”

Emma sighed. “Whatever it is, get over it. I have a bad feeling about this meeting.”

When Emma left, Kate considered Emma's suggestion, but in the end she rejected it. He didn't want the sword. He didn't want her half-hearted gifts. He wanted...she gritted her teeth and chucked the sword into the bin, grabbing her newly mended coat on the way out.

  
  


She and Emma sat with Shinobi at his first meeting, one on either side of him. Kate didn't look at anyone. She could hear whispering among the people seated while they waited for Charles and Mystique. Finally the two entered, and Kate finally looked up. Mystique never looked happy, but today she looked like she was ready to kill.

“State your reason for requesting this meeting,” Charles said, as if he didn't want the words to pass his lips.

“I want my wife back.”

A low murmur went through the group.

“I've told you we will get her back for you,” Charles said.

“And when will that be? You make promises you don't intend to keep, and I want to know why.”

Charles cleared his throat slightly, and crossed his hands behind his back. “Destiny can see the future. I'm not ready to seal our fate yet.”

Mystique whirled. “She sees the future, she doesn't create it!”

“Bring her back,” Kate said, and she felt every eye on her.

“Katherine, I don't believe you understand—” Charles began.

She hated it when he condescended to her. “My name is _Kate_ and I understand perfectly. You won't bring Destiny back because you don't want to. Because you've decided—you alone—that she's a threat to you and your damn dream. Fuck your dream, Charles. Bring her back.”

Mystique blinked from Kate to Charles and back.

Magneto rose to defend Charles. “Kate, with all due respect, this is not Charles's dream alone, it is the dream of all mutants, yourself included.”

“No it isn't. I don't get to be part of the dream, remember? Can't use the gates. Wonder why that is? Has anyone tried to find out? No? I didn't think so. This Council is a farce. We don't wield any more power than we ever did.”

“Yes, you do, Katherine.” Charles again, with her full name. She hated that and he knew it.

“Fine. Then let's vote.”

“All right, we will put it to a vote. A simple show of hands will suffice,” Charles said. “All those in favor of resurrecting Irene Adler, known as Destiny, a precog, raise your hands...”

The Cerebro helmet prevented Kate from seeing the reaction on Charles's face when only Magneto and Sinister sided with him.

“Very well,” Charles said evenly. “It will be done by evening. Council is adjourned.” Everyone began talking at once, making their way out of the circle. “Katherine, a word before you go,” Charles said, his voice low and vaguely threatening.

Kate stayed where she was. Let him come to her. This man had ruled her life for years. She'd followed his dream, watched her friends die while he posed for cameras and pleaded with a world that hated and feared them and solved absolutely nothing in the process.

“You don't know what you've done,” he said.

“Yes, I do. It's you who doesn't know what you're doing. You feel powerful right now because we're on top for once. But it's by a hair, Professor, and it won't take much to tip the scales again. Better to have Destiny making predictions and helping us avoid problems than to have Mystique take us out one by one.”

“She wouldn't be allowed.”

“No, I'm sure you'd be all too happy to send her into the earth with Sabretooth and Shaw.” Kate turned on her heel and stalked away, Charles still speaking in her head.

“This is a mistake, Katherine.”

“No it isn't,” she thought at him. “I know what mistakes are.”

  
  


Mystique was waiting for her outside the Council circle.

“Why did you do that?” she said.

“You're welcome,” Kate said, not stopping.

“Why did you help me?”

Kate shrugged. “You deserve to be happy the same as anyone else.”

Mystique fell into step beside her and they walked in silence until Kate turned down the path towards the Red Keep.

  
  


Kate kept her head down as she strode down the path, stopping only when Lockheed flew out to greet her. She smiled at him as he landed on her shoulder and curled around her neck.

“Hiya, Lockheed,” she said as she petted his tail. “You get bored, little dragon?”

He purred his growly dragon response into the back of her neck as Kate walked along, her pace slower now that she had Lockheed with her. Why shouldn't they resurrect Destiny? She thought it was stupid, and the reasons even more so. As she approached Red Keep, the hair on the back of her neck started to prickle. She stopped and looked down the path, peering into the dark jungle on either side. She couldn't see anything, and she should be safe on Krakoa.

Should be.

She walked slower, intangible, though if it was Krakoa, it wouldn't matter. The door of the keep stood open, and she had not left it that way. Enough of this.

She strode into the clearing in front of her home and said, “All right, show yourself.”

From all around her came sounds of rustling, and from within her home, a shadow moved. The door opened and as her friends emerged from the jungles around her, Moira stepped into the clearing.

“You've created more problems than you're worth, I'm afraid,” she said. Behind her, Charles stood silently.

“Moira?”

“I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but you always were a little hard-headed.”

“What?” She looked around. Colossus, Storm, Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Phoenix, Cyclops, and Iceman all fixed her with blank stares. “What's wrong with them?”

“Nothing,” Moira said. “They're awaiting instructions.”

Something moved under Kate's feet, and she jumped, phasing, and airwalked straight up. Branches grabbed her, scraping along her arm and drawing blood. She fought, but they pulled her down, Krakoa impervious to her powers. Lockheed tried to burn them, but Kate screamed at him to get away. With Krakoa's vines holding her in place, the others began to tie her up in them. Lockheed was gone, safe this time, and she stopped struggling.

“This doesn't even make sense, Moira,” Kate said, trying to plead with her. “Why would you want to hurt mutants you're trying to save?”

“For the greater good. Those who stop our progress must be eliminated. Otherwise we all die. We always die.”

Behind her, Charles screamed as Lockheed blasted the Cerebro helmet, turning it burning hot. When he tried to pull it off, it burned his hands. Moira called orders to the X-Men, but they remained motionless, and the vines holding Kate's legs and arms loosened and fell away. Kate bolted straight for the beach, and Lockheed followed.

She felt safer on the _Marauder_ , but Moira wouldn't give up now that Kate knew the truth. She called to Emma, hoping she'd be listening for her.

“What?” Emma replied as Kate sent all the images of what had just happened to her. “Kate, that's not possible, I'm sitting with Ororo right now. She can't be in two places...”

“Do you know where I'm going?” Kate yelled in her mind.

“Yes, I'll meet you.”

Kate started the engines and the _Marauder_ carved a swooping path through the water as she accelerated away from Krakoa.


	6. Welcome to Nunavut

Kate's hands shook as she piloted the _Marauder_ towards her destination, praying Krakoa's vines couldn't reach far enough to stop her, or gum up the engine of her ship and succeed in drowning her this time. The farther she got from the island, the less afraid but angrier she became. Moira was behind everything? It hardly seemed possible. Moira had been her friend, had cared for her when Kate had been nearly dead. She had taken in the bedraggled Excalibur team when they were down to almost no one. How could she turn on them so easily?

And the X-Men...Emma said she was with Ororo. How could that be? Unless they weren't the real X-Men, but that was nothing she hadn't faced before. Clones and copycats were an almost daily experience in the life of an X-Man. Her arm began to sting and she looked at it for the first time. She had a long cut, ugly and ragged, from one of the branches. It had bled, but looked okay now.

Something thudded on the deck and Kate froze. Had they found her already? She set the autopilot afraid to stop moving lest Krakoa's vines catch up to her.

She hadn't brought even a single sword with her. “Stay here, Lockheed. If this goes badly, I want you to be safe.” She moved quietly to the door and phased her head through before stepping out. She couldn't see anything that might have caused the sound, and nothing on her deck was amiss. Nothing seemed to have fallen. She peered over the sides, but the hull was intact, and she couldn't see any Krakoa vines. She walked slowly down the length of the deck, hesitating when she came to the piles of supplies that could hide someone.

A sound came from a little ways down, familiar coughing, and Kate's whole body wilted. Dammit. Dammit, dammit, dammit, how in the ever living hell did he get here?

“Kurt?” she said, walking faster now towards the source of the coughing. Why didn't he come out? Was he one of the clones? No, a clone would have attacked her. He'd teleported, that's what he'd done, like an idiot, too far. Too many times perhaps. She was a long way from the island. She wasn't sure if that was an issue for him anymore—the Bamfs had been absent for quite some time.

She stepped around a crate and found him, propped against it, panting and holding his side.

“You overdid it, didn't you?” she scolded, hands on her hips as she tapped her foot.

He tipped his head up and grinned, and then fell over.

He was covered in blood.

  
  


Kate managed to get him on his side and find the source of most of the blood. There was a gaping wound along his back, curving a little way around his ribs on one side, and another, smaller wound on the back of his leg. She ran for the cabin, phasing through to check their course and grab the First Aid kit. Back at his side, she cut off the lower half of his pant leg and doused the wound with antiseptic before wrapping it. His back was worse, and when she cut away the shirt that stuck to the dried blood in his fur, she thought the marks there ought to be familiar. Four jagged gashes had ripped the flesh from his bones on one side of his back. It looked like they'd just missed his spine. She felt bile rise in her throat and pushed it down. After pouring antiseptic over all the wounds, she used all the gauze in the kit wrapping them.

She managed to drag him, intangible, down to her cabin where she left Lockheed to watch him. Too bad the dragon couldn't pilot the ship.

It got dark and they hadn't reached her destination, but she refused to stop. She didn't trust the water or the land or anything. In fact, she hardly trusted Emma. But she couldn't fight this alone. She'd tried that, and it didn't work. And now people were getting hurt because of her. No, because of _Moira_ , she amended. This was her fault, not Kate's. What had happened?

  
  


Emma's voice pierced her reverie. “How far out are you?”

“Not far.”

“Krakoa's in chaos.”

“Fighting?”

“Yes. It's...I'll tell you when you get here. I trust no one outside the Marauders. Ororo is here, and Bobby.”

“Where's Pyro?”

“He was off-island. We're picking him up on our way.”

“I'll be there in a few hours.”

“Kate?”

“Emma?”

“I don't know where Kurt is.”

Kate didn't bother wondering why Emma might tell her that. “It's okay. I have him.”

  
  


When she docked the _Marauder_ at last, she was exhausted, but there was more work to be done. Down in her cabin, Kurt was still out, and that frightened her more than the trouble on Krakoa. Lockheed indicated he hadn't woken at all. She pulled on insulated pants, a sweater, and a parka, then dug some spares out of one of the other cabins. Lockheed helped her pull on the pants over what remained of Kurt's own. Kate tucked his tail down one of the legs to keep it warm, and hoped it wouldn't be too uncomfortable if—no, _when_ he woke up. The parka was harder. She could get one arm in, but there was no way to pull the other sleeve on without jostling him and possibly reopening the wounds in his back.

Emma's telepathic voice came again. “Kate, we're here.”

“Great, send somebody to the ship. My cabin.”

Bobby stuck his head in the door. “What the hell did you do to him?”

“Not me, dummy. He showed up like this and passed out before he could tell me what happened.”

“Well, probably Krakoa happened. It's all kinds of hell over there right now.”

“Lovely. Help me get this parka on him?”

They carried him out onto the ice and Bobby built a sled to pull behind him as they headed towards the hidden building.

The building had once been used by the American government to do experiments on captured mutants, but it had been abandoned once it was discovered by the Canadians. Later, it was bombed out, but parts of it remained and Christian Frost had bought the remaining land and turned it into something inhabitable. Kate hating placing any trust in Christian, but Bobby liked him, and Emma had already talked to him, so she had little choice at the moment.

When they got inside, Ororo ran over to help. “What happened? Did you do this?”

“Why does everyone think this is my fault? No, of course I didn't!”

“What happened?” Emma asked as they carried Kurt down the hall to a room with a bed.

“He showed up on the ship like this and passed out.”

Emma and Ororo shared a glance.

“What?” Kate demanded. “Tell me.”

“There's rioting on Krakoa. We don't know what happened, but shortly after you were attacked, the island seemed to go mad. Shaw escaped, and Sabretooth.

The gashes. That's why they looked familiar. She sighed. “And you thought _I_ did this?”

Ororo said, “You have been acting strangely, Kitten.”

Kate groaned in annoyance and scowled at them as she peeled off her parka and tossed it onto a chair.

“Tell us what happened,” Ororo said.

“Went home after the Council meeting, and a bunch of fake X-Men were waiting for me, along with Moira and Charles. But I don't think he was under his own control. I think...I think somehow Moira's controlling _him_.” Saying it aloud made her throat tight. Moira had been her friend. “They almost caught me, but Lockheed, my good boy, he fried the Cerebro helmet and we got away.”

“He fried it?” Emma said. She and Ororo stood to one side while Kate phased the parka and thick pants off Kurt. When Ororo saw the gash in his back, she covered her mouth with her hand.

“Yeah, blasted it with flames. Krakoa let go of me then, and we ran.”

“That must be what shorted out the island,” Emma said. “He was controlling everything with that helmet.”

“So what are you guys saying? Xavier's a bad guy?” Bobby said.

Kate shook her head. “I don't know. I think maybe...but...no, I really think it's Moira. Somehow.”

  
  


“Finished lighting all the fireplaces,” Pyro said as he strolled in. “What's all this?”

Bobby explained. “And now we think Charles is being controlled by Moira, which makes no sense at all since she's not a telepath and he is. And also, why is she evil?”

Pyro shrugged. “What about Kurt? Is he going to die?”

Kate felt stiff, almost like she was catching a cold. “I hope not. I don't know if the resurrection protocols will work for anyone now.” She looked at each of them. “I'm sorry, guys. This is my fault.”

“It is not. You must stop blaming yourself.”

“But it's my fault the helmet got toasted.”

“No, it is their fault. You were defending yourself and Lockheed was defending you. What bed they've made, they must now lie in,” Ororo said. “All of us must.”

“She's right, Kate,” Emma said. “Stop blaming yourself and let's see what we can do to get Kurt fixed up so he doesn't die. Hm, Christian's here.”

He strolled in then, kissed Bobby, and handed Emma a large First Aid kit. “Should be some useful stuff in there,” he said, eyeing the rest of them. “Welcome to The Middle of Nowhere, Nunavut.”

Kate opened the emergency kit and rifled through the contents. The basics, just more of it. “Thanks, Christian,” she said. She might use more antiseptic if he started a fever.

“Let me see your arm, Kitten,” said Ororo, but Kate wasn't in the mood to be coddled.

“I'll take care of it once we're settled. Once...” she glanced at Kurt. “I'll deal with it.”

Emma left, taking Christian and Bobby with her, and Pyro followed, Lockheed perched on his shoulder. Those two had become friendly in the past months, bonding over their love of fire. Ororo alone remained, regarding Kate with interest.

“I wish I knew how to help you,” she said.

Kate bowed her head. “Me, too.”

“What happened?”

“I was attacked, I _told_ you, Moira—”

“No. With Kurt.”

“Oh.” It was no surprise there weren't any secrets on the island. Or perhaps he'd talked to Ororo about it. She wondered what he'd told her. “I don't know.”

“I don't believe you,” she said. “I hope you figure it out, Kate. There was a time I...” she glanced at him. “There was a time I would have done anything to be his. It turned out friendship was better.”

Kate's face burned, and she wouldn't look up. “He should have picked you.”

“It doesn't work that way.”

Kate's throat felt tight and her eyes stung. “Ororo, I don't know what to do.”

Ororo folded Kate into her arms and for once, she didn't protest. Ororo hugged her like a child, patting her hair and shushing her.

“The truth is always a good place to start. But you must be honest with yourself first,” Ororo said. Kate nodded and stepped away, wiping at her eyes. “Please see to your arm.”

“I will. I'll just make sure...” she waved a hand at Kurt.

Ororo walked out, leaving the door cracked. Kate looked around the room then, and dragged a chair over. It was a nicely appointed space, with several pieces of decent, if plain, furniture. The bed was a double or possibly a queen, and there were plenty of linens. Kate opened the First Aid kit on top of a chest of drawers and pulled out the contents.

Kurt's back seemed to have stopped bleeding at least, and she didn't want to disturb the bandages she'd already applied. She touched his head and he felt normal. She raked the curls off his forehead, remembering the feel of that hair in her fist, and the velvet of his face against her cheek. She turned back to the kit on the dresser.

The antiseptic was going to sting, but it was better than an infection. She wiped her arm, wincing at the pain, and cleaned the long cut. It began to bleed in a few spots, where it had gouged deeper, and she wrapped gauze around her arm. It never hurt as much when Kurt tended to her.

She didn't want to leave him alone, so she stalled for time by folding the parka and snow pants neatly. She stepped into the hallway, where Bobby was carrying a stack of something towards her.

“Hey, Kate, Christian sent these. I think they'll probably fit you, and Kurt when he wakes up.”

“Thanks Bobby. Tell Christian thanks.” She took the stack from him, and he stood in the hall, hands on his hips.

“You really think Xavier's behind this?” he said.

“No. I really think it's Moira. I just don't know how.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “Kurt gonna be okay?”

“I don't know.”

“He probably will. That guy never dies.” Bobby patted her shoulder. “There'll be food soon. Whenever you're ready, just go down this hall and turn left. You'll see it.”

She managed a small smile and went back into the room. The clothes looked comfortable and after the day she'd had, she couldn't resist the soft fabrics. After a quick glance at Kurt, whose eyes remained closed, she stripped out of her dirty, torn clothes. She'd never worn anything quite so soft. Or perhaps she was simply so tired anything would have felt good. What Christian had sent for Kurt felt just as soft.

She pulled the chair over to the bed and curled up, tucking her knees to her chin. What _had_ happened, really? It couldn't be as simple as her own fears, could it? How long had she been telling herself she'd left because there was no way he loved her, no way she was anything but a one-time thing? She had insisted on that for so long, she believed it. Ororo had said she had to tell herself the truth first, but it was so hard.

She forced herself to think about what had happened. About the shared glances all night at that stupid party, celebrating some legislation that ultimately never mattered. She remembered the way he'd stayed close to her all night, and finally invited her outside, far out into the field past the views of the house, where the light was dimmest and the stars the brightest. He had a blanket and they laid on it and looked at the sky for a long time. He had called her beautiful and touched her arm, and she had known in that moment what was going to happen. She wanted it, had wanted it for a long time. But he was a notorious flirt, talked about among both ladies and gentlemen, and she knew nothing ever lasted for him. Not since Amanda had died.

He touched her arm and she knew. And she had let him. No. No, that was a lie. She had not _let_ him, she had _asked_ him, she had begged for him.

 _That_ was her shame, that was what she ran from. Shame at wanting him so much she was willing to take one night with him if he would give it, and of course he would. Did he ever turn a woman down? She knew what she was doing and she did it anyway. She knew she was throwing their friendship away and she did it anyway. She wasn't angry with him, she was angry with herself. Her selfish, stupid self.


	7. What's Under the Scab Hurts More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the following chapters were delayed. I thought I could get everything posted while the baby was asleep but he woke up early. :-)

She didn't realize she was hungry until Emma contacted her telepathically. “Come eat,” she said.

“Why?”

“It's been hours.”

“I can't.”

“I'll send someone to sit with him. You have to eat, Kate.”

“Fine.”

Ororo came to the door. “I promise to come for you if he wakes.”

Kate hesitated at the door. “Thank you,” she said, and she meant for everything.

“Go and eat.” Ororo smiled, and Kate knew she understood.

The food was probably good, but Kate barely tasted it. Bobby and Christian, talking together across the room, seemed to get along well, and she was happy about that. Pyro and Lockheed were entertaining Emma with fire tricks. Kate just shoveled food into her mouth until her plate was empty. Perhaps she had been hungry.

Emma glanced in her direction. “See?” She waved at a cabinet. “There's wine and champagne in there if you want some.”

“Not right now.” She pushed the plate aside. “Do we have any sort of plan yet? We can't just run away forever and hide out in Canada.” She considered the irony of her statement, and the number of times she'd done that very thing—run away from her problems. Sometimes, she ran without running at all.

“Not forever,” Emma said. “Do you have any ideas?”

“No. I haven't been able to think about it yet.” She didn't say why and thankfully, Emma didn't ask. Maybe she already knew. Kate looked around for a place to put her dishes, but finding none, she left them on the table and went back down the hall. She found the room where Kurt was lying and went in, noting the rise and fall of his chest with relief. Ororo rose and left without a word, only a small, hopeful smile.

Before she sat down, Kate paced, trying to remember things Kurt had told her about unconscious people. She knew the longer they were out, the worse it was, generally. Fainting was brief. Unconsciousness was very, very bad. But maybe he'd fainted, regained consciousness, and fallen asleep. She didn't think so. Most likely, if he did wake, he'd have permanent brain damage. Maybe he'd never wake at all. Maybe— _stop it_. Thinking like that wasn't helpful, it only made her adrenaline race and her eyes feel moist.

Lockheed flew in for a cuddle, and she sat in the chair with him, grateful for his warm company. Time passed slowly, and Kate felt her eyelids drooping. She yawned and stood, checking Kurt again for a fever. Nothing. She let Lockheed curl up in the soft chair while she went in search of the bathroom. She found it down the hall a few doors, and noticed the whole place was very quiet. Perhaps the others had already gone to bed. It was late for her, regardless of the time on the clock here, her body told her it was well past midnight.

She returned to the room where Lockheed and Kurt were sleeping and climbed onto the bed, carefully so she didn't jostle his injuries. She fell asleep easily.

She woke to a sound like a tuba being played through a pillow. It was Kurt, moaning in his sleep. She switched on the light beside the bed, and saw he had shifted—a good sign—onto his back—not so good. As gently as she could, she rolled him onto his side, then his stomach. He breathed out a long sigh and continued to sleep. Kate lay wide awake after that, staring at the ceiling and thinking again about the sky full of stars, warm hands on her body, and soft whispers in her ear. Promises she didn't believe, but she hadn't bothered to deny them.

Had she really walked away from that without explanation? Did she really believe he would betray her like that? At the time, she told herself he would. Now, looking back with Ororo's words echoing in her mind, she knew it had been a lie she told herself to escape her shame and fear. And what had it cost her? Maybe everything. She rolled to her side, but in the dark, she couldn't see him at all.

She supposed it was a good sign, that he was invisible in the dark. If his mutation was working, then he wasn't dead. She reached out tentatively, met fuzz, and laid her hand against it. He had been the constant in her life for so long, since before she was recruited to the team. When Piotr left her, she hadn't known him well enough to go to him. But Pete, that had been different. And when her parents divorced. When her father died.

She played with the fur on what she thought was his arm, from the shape of it, pressing it back and forth. It reminded her of a velvet dress she'd had once as a child, that she'd worn as often as possible until she outgrew it. He was soft that way, an odd contrast to the hard muscles underneath.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered to the dark, in case he never woke up, at least the words were said. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, to stop the tears that filled them. But they wouldn't be stopped this time, and she clapped her other hand over her mouth to stifle the sobs that welled up. She sniffed and tried to force herself to breathe calmly, to get herself together. Everything seemed so much worse at night, so much bigger and scarier. Did everyone feel that way, or just her?

“Don't cry, Kätzchen,” he said, and at first she thought she'd imagined it.

Then it hit her. “Kurt?”

“Mm?” He sounded gravelly and distant.

She sat up and turned on the light again, and he blinked, pressing his face into the pillow to hide from the sudden brightness. She cried harder, from relief instead of sadness. Water. She sprang from the bed and ran down the hall to the room where they'd eaten, dark now and empty, and returned with a cup. She sat beside him on the edge of the bed and tipped his head up to drink. He grimaced at the pain in his back, craning his neck to try to see the wound.

“I thought you were going to die,” she said.

“ _Danke_ ,” he said, referring to the water.

She laughed, elated that he sounded like himself. “You were unconscious for so long, I didn't know what to do. You always knew...”

He looked around the room, then at her. “Where are we?”

“Somewhere in Canada. It's Christian Frost's secret hideout or something. Krakoa wasn't safe.”

He stretched one arm and scratched his head. “Is there any food here?”

“I'll find some.”

Back to the other room, and she rummaged through cabinets until she found crackers and granola bars. There must be a refrigerator somewhere, she just had to find it. Later. For now, the crackers and water, and here were applesauce containers with aluminum lids. Her plate was still on the table, and she took the utensils from it.

He eyed the pathetic items she brought him. “That's what a millionaire eats?”

“I don't know where the kitchen is,” she said. “I've been in here...”

“Have you eaten anything?”

She nodded. “Can you sit up?”

He tried unsuccessfully, contorting his face until Kate got him propped up enough to eat without choking. She sat in the chair with trembling hands as the adrenaline left her system and she began to realize he was okay, and she would have to talk to him. And the adrenaline shot through her again at the thought of telling him everything she'd been thinking about.

“What happened?” she asked instead, pretending for the moment that things between them weren't radically messed up.

“I don't know. Krakoa seemed to fall apart. There was chaos, and then Sabretooth was there, I don't know how.” He scooped up heaping spoonfuls of applesauce as he talked. “Emma said you were in trouble, and in the moment of distraction, Sabretooth attacked.”

She was the reason he was hurt.

“You teleported onto the _Marauder_ when it was already far out to sea.”

He nodded. “You weren't home. There was some commotion there, too, and at first I thought the worst.” He finished everything she brought him, and lay back on his side, as if eating had exhausted him.

“It's okay, you should rest.”

“Not right now. Tell me what happened to you.” He waved a hand at her bandaged arm.

“Lockheed destroyed the Cerebro helmet. Emma thinks, we all think, Charles was using it to control Krakoa.”

“That would explain what happened to everything.”

“Kurt, Moira was there. I think she's behind all of this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think she's done something to Charles. He wasn't...he was acting weird, like he wasn't in control of himself.”

“Moira doesn't have that kind of power,” Kurt said, shaking his head. Moira had been his friend, too.

“I know. I don't know what else could explain it. Something is wrong.”

“Who else is here?”

“Emma and the Marauders and Christian. But everyone's asleep.”

“Then we can table this discussion until morning.”

“Do you want something else to eat?”

“No, I'm fine for now.” He sighed and shifted in the bed, grimacing and grabbing his side as he moved. “I think you and I should talk though.”

“Oh. Okay. If you want.” Faced with the impending task of explaining herself, she was suddenly in no hurry to do so. Now he was all right. Now he wasn't dying. Now it could wait. “Right now?”

“I think we've put it off long enough, don't you?”

She nodded. She could do this. Things couldn't get any worse between them, after all.

“What happened, Kate?”

She hated the sound of her name when he said it. She wanted to be his Kätzchen again, his Kitty, but this was what she'd done and she had to live with it.

“I ran away from you.”

“I noticed.” He adjusted his arms with a soft grunt. “I want to know why. I have spent too many nights replaying everything that happened and I can't think what I did or said...unless you never wanted that at all. And that has haunted me.”

“No, it wasn't that,” she assured him, “You didn't do anything wrong. It was me. I _asked_ you to...” She rested her arms and chin on her knees, drawn up in the chair like armor.

“You're sure? Because if you changed your mind, I could not live with myself—”

“I'm sure. You didn't take advantage of me.”

He looked relieved, and let the silence stretch a while before prodding her again. “Then what was it?”

“I...” she struggled to force the words past her lips.

“Were you using me?”

It had never occurred to her that he might think that, but of course he would. Had she?

She answered automatically, “No! No, I thought...” she swallowed because that wasn't right, and the truth was going to hurt. “Yes. I guess I was after all.”

“I see.” He shifted, winced, and reached under his leg for the other bandage. “How did this happen?”

“I don't know,” she said. “You arrived with it.”

“I think something's lodged in it.”

She unfolded herself and went to the First Aid kit, still lying open on the dresser. “What do you need?”

He listed off what he needed and she brought it over. “You have to do it, I can't see.”

“You have to roll over then,” she said. With some effort, they managed to get him onto his stomach, and Kate unwound the bandage. She looked at it from every angle, searching for anything that might be in it. “I can't see anything.”

“Probably under the scab.”

Eventually she found it, phasing her hand into the wound and digging around that way. Kurt kept his face pressed into the pillow, hissing now and then. She thought it must be painful when she pulled out a jagged piece of glass, the size of quarter.

“Must have been from the bottle he threw,” Kurt muttered, and Kate didn't ask what he meant. It didn't matter.

“I was ashamed of myself, and I didn't want you to leave me, so I left you first,” she blurted while his face was turned away and he couldn't move. She stood up to throw out the piece of glass. “I didn't think you cared about me that way, and I was...and I was just another name on your list, and I was scared and ashamed and lying to myself about a lot of things.”

She braced herself for the anger that was sure to come. She deserved it. She stayed away from the bed, waiting, while he tried to roll over.

“Don't,” she cautioned. “You'll hurt yourself.”

“I have been in far more pain the last year than this is causing, believe me.”

She had no response to that, and so she stood silently to accept the consequences of her actions. He'd forgive her, she was confident of that because he was like that. But he'd never forget, and they'd never be friends again.

“Why did you think that?”

“Which part?”

“All of it. But mostly why did you think I didn't care? What did I do to make you think that?”

“ _Nothing_ , Kurt. It wasn't you, don't you understand? It was me, all me. My own stupid _fear_ and...and...” She wiped a hand over her face in exasperation. “Everyone else leaves and you flirt with everyone, so...” she shrugged. “I don't know, I thought I'd save myself the pain of finding out you didn't love me.”

He held out his hand to her, and she stared at it in confusion until he let it fall. “I never thought you'd be the one I'd have to let go of.”

Her gut twisted at his words, at the pain she heard in them, and the pain they caused.

“I was so in love with you,” he said.

She hated that she was crying, but it was no use trying not to. She felt sick, _really_ sick. She wiped her eyes and choked out, “I still _am_.”

Kate had no idea where the others were sleeping, but she called for them along the hallway until Ororo's voice finally answered. When Ororo saw Kate's face, she gasped in fear.

“He's awake, he's fine,” Kate said. “Go, please, go see him.”

Ororo didn't question her, thank goodness, but raced out of her room, leaving Kate to sob in peace. Ororo was gone a long time, and Kate was grateful. She stopped crying and laid down on Ororo's bed. She had exhausted herself, and fell asleep before Ororo returned.


	8. A Hole So Deep You Can See the Stars

The windows in Christian's Canada hideout were long, thin slits set high in the wall. In the winter, it was dark almost most of the time, and in summer, light. Kate had no idea what time it was when she woke up, but she heard voices from down the hall, from the room where she'd eaten last night.

She rolled over with a groan, thinking of the awful conversation with Kurt, and her heart felt heavy and broken, worse than before. Worse than when she'd left him. This was what she'd been avoiding. To add to her pain, there was Krakoa to think of, her friends left behind there when she'd run, again, saving her own hide at the expense of others. She sat up and scratched her head.

She had to go back. She had to find out what Moira was doing, what Charles's connection was, and she had to make things right, or at least try. If Moira was controlling the island, Kate couldn't get anywhere near it. She decided that first, she had to find out where everyone was. Did the gates still work, and if so, had the island's inhabitants used them to escape? What of Sabretooth and Shaw? She had to find out where they were, too.

She got up and trudged down the hall, away from Kurt's room. Bobby and Christian were sitting on a couch talking, and greeted her cordially.

“Where's the food?” she asked.

Christian got up and showed her that the room with cupboards where she'd found food for Kurt last night was only a butler's pantry. If she'd gone a little further, she'd have found the kitchen proper. Emma was in there, making eggs.

“You cook?” Kate said, astonished.

“I know, it's beneath me,” she said. “But here I am. Help yourself.”

Kate cast around for plates and let Emma serve eggs to her.

“Rough night?” Emma said, not looking at Kate.

“Kind of.”

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks.” Kate walked away and Emma let her go. What could she say that Kate didn't already know? That she was a horrible person? An idiot? A fool? That she deserved to be alone?

She sat alone at the table where she'd eaten the night before and tried to focus on the problems on Krakoa instead of in her personal life. All those mutants were more important than if she and Kurt were friends. She knew that, but her heart didn't seem to care very much for logic.

Ororo sat down across from her with a bowl of oatmeal.

“No eggs?” Kate said, hoping to prevent the lecture she was sure was coming.

“No, I prefer this,” Ororo said. “Although it's boxed and not as good as fresh.”

Kate finished her eggs and started to get up.

“Wait,” Ororo said, and Kate sat back down, bracing herself. “I know you and Kurt had a fight. He told me. I just want you to know...Kitten...I might not agree with you, but I will still stand by you as a Marauder and I will still be your friend. I only hope you can find your way.”

“Thanks Ororo.” She wanted to tell her she was trying, that she was lousy at it, that she hadn't meant to fight with Kurt, but everything sounded like an excuse. “I don't know how to fix it. I dug a hole so deep I can see the stars.”

“What?”

“There's a myth that if you dig a hole deep enough and look at the sky, you can see the stars,” she said. “It's not true.”

“Then perhaps your hole isn't as deep as you think it is.”

Kate looked up, surprised into silence again. Ororo stood up and touched Kate's shoulder as she walked away. Kate put her head in her hands and sighed.

“Still thinking about stars?” Kurt said, and she jumped.

“You should be in bed!” she said as he dropped with a grunt onto the seat Ororo had occupied. Had he been listening? How long?

“You know me. I am a terrible patient.” Ororo brought him a plate of Emma's eggs, and he thanked her with a gracious smile.

He ate in silence while she sat, still weighing Ororo's words, her own thoughts, all of it. When he finished the eggs and toast, he sat back stiffly in the wooden chair. She could feel him watching her.

“Should we try again?” he said at last.

“Breakfast?”

He gave a small chuckle to be kind. “No. _Talking_. Us. Friendship.” His tail tapped her shin under the table and she looked up. “I'm willing if you are.”

“Why? Why do you want this so badly when I—when it's so messed up?”

“A better question is why do you _not_?”

“I didn't say that.”

“You don't have to. It's obvious.” He shook his head sadly. “Maybe there isn't a reason. Maybe it simply _is_.”

What was wrong with her? Here he was offering her, again, another chance. Why did she keep throwing them in his face?

“I don't _not_ ,” she said. “I mean, I do—I do want to try, but I...I don't know how.”

“Easy, Kate. Talk to me. Don't you remember? You used to tell me everything, and you hated when I kept secrets from you. I never understood until now, and I wish I could go back and change that.” He shifted on the chair. “Can we go somewhere else?”

“Yeah. Sure.” She got up and took their plates away. He was on his feet, one hand gripping the back of the chair. She came up beside him and stopped. Then she held out her hand and he took it, holding tight, too tight, but she didn't say anything. They limped over to the seating area where Bobby and Christian were still talking, and Kate helped him down onto the sofa.

“You should lie down,” she said, but he shook his head.

“No, I'm tired of lying down. This is fine, it's more comfortable than those other chairs.”

Kate sat a little ways down the couch from him, perching on the edge of the couch like it might swallow her whole if she sat back into the cushions.

Emma strolled in, followed by the rest of the Marauders, who all took seats in the same space. “Good, now that we're all here, and awake, let's talk. Tell them, Christian,” she said, waving a hand at her brother.

“We picked up some activity from Krakao,” he said. “It seems like a signal of some kind, but it's encoded, and it's not in Krakoan.” He tapped something on the wall and a large screen descended in front of the window. On it was the signal.

“This repeats,” he said, pointing to a section of code, “which is why we think it might be a distress call.”

“No,” Kitty said, “No, I don't think it is.” The pattern was too familiar, it was too easy. It had to be a trap. “This is a warning.”

“How do you know?” Ororo said.

“I read binary, and this is similar. Almost like someone knew I'd see it.” She waved a hand at it. “There are only two symbols being used, see? Like ones and zeros.”

“What does it say?” Emma asked. Everyone waited.

“It says to stay away.”

Beside her, Kurt shifted on the couch. “But what does it _say_?”

“It says 'we all died and so will you'.”

Silence hung in the room for a long time.

“All right,” Christian said. “So now what?”

There had been a time, not so very long ago, when she and Kurt could scheme together so easily it was like breathing. They'd done it so many times, and they knew how the other thought. She doubted it would be like that again, but she felt their eyes on her, and she knew they were looking to her for guidance. And she needed help.

“Give me some time to think,” she said. “I'll let you know.”

They began to wander off, looking for something to do and giving Kate space. She asked Christian to leave the code up. “Do you have other sensors? A computer, a scanner, anything like that?”

“I have anything you need.” He motioned for her to follow.

She paused and looked back at the couch where Kurt was still sitting. “Would you, uh, would you help?”

At first, she thought he was going to say no. Then he smiled and tried to stand up. She hurried over to help him, and he smiled wider.

“See? It's not so hard to start again.” He leaned on her shoulders as they followed Christian down the hall.


	9. Satellite Views

The room looked like something from a spy movie, with monitors and computers on every wall, screens and printers and other instruments everywhere they looked. It reminded her of some of Xavier's computer rooms at the old school. It kind of reminded her of the room Krakoa had shown her, too. Christian stood in the center and waved his arms around.

“Here you go, Kate. Help yourself.”

“Thanks.” She helped Kurt into a chair beside the computer she wanted, and pulled up a satellite view of the island. There were large chunks where the vegetation was gone, and there were clearly vines snaking out into the shallow water.

“It was trying to follow me,” she said to herself.

“What?”

She explained to Kurt what had happened when she escaped, how afraid she'd been that the island would come after her somehow, with the vines that had almost killed her before. “Look,” she said and pointed. “It did.”

She zoomed in on the island, and began looking at different populated areas. Beginning with her own home, Red Keep, which was still intact but deserted, she panned across to the main area. There was no one visible there. Further on, where Council sat, there was a giant gaping hole, black and gaping. Other homes were intact, a few were damaged. There was no one on the island. Not a single person.

“Where are they?” Kate said.

“Go back to the hole,” Kurt said, and she panned back. “Can you zoom in any more?”

“No, this is as far as it goes.” She looked at the giant black hole in the earth where she'd watched Sebastian Shaw get sucked in, and then looked at Kurt. “You don't think...”

“They're in there?” He shrugged. “Possibly.”

She needed footage from earlier, audio or preferably video. She rolled the chair over to the next computer, leaving up the satellite feed of Krakoa, and hacked into the island's connection to the worldwide internet. If they could get information on Krakoa, then she could get in, too. While she worked, Kurt made occasional small noises of discomfort, but he didn't complain.

“Can you look up Moira's email address?” Kate said, still working her way into the Krakoan internet.

“Here,” he said, writing it on a slip of paper and passing it to her.

“Thanks, and get the professor's, too, and—”

“I'll get the whole Council.”

“Perfect.”

They worked mostly in silence. Kate was able to hack into the Krakoan internet, but most of it wasn't working. Only parts and pieces were still functional, and none contained any useful information. She started on the email addresses next. There were a few promising emails, a couple had video, but nothing useful. She sat tapping a pen against her chin while she watched the last video, Hank and Charles demonstrating the resurrection process for Moira.

“Why did they film this?” Kurt said. “I thought it was top secret.”

She shook her head slowly. “Good question.” She played it back again, and again. Something about it nagged at the back of her mind, but she couldn't place it. She saved the video to a thumb drive and put it in her pocket.

It was past lunchtime when Kate finally stood up to stretch. “I need a break. And you look awful.”

“I don't feel great.”

Kate put her hand on his head. Warm and damp. “I think we better check you out.”

He walked with her help back to the main room, and she didn't have to ask him to lie down. She brought him some water and went to get the First Aid supplies. They both suspected infection in one of his wounds.

She sat down beside him and he gave her instructions. She had basic First Aid training, but Kurt was a field medic. He could keep people alive until Hank got to them, or Cecelia. It was not Kate's area of expertise and never had been.

The culprit was simple enough, dirt that hadn't been washed out properly. Hopefully Christian had a good housekeeper and a cleaning service, because his couch was going to need a steam clean. When Kate finished rebandaging Kurt's back, she put the First Aid kit away and brought a blanket out to cover him. Kurt, who napped so infrequently that she couldn't remember a single time, was already asleep when she returned. She tucked the blanket around him and went to make herself some lunch.

  
  


She ate at the table and watched him sleep. She wanted to be on the couch with him, his feet in her lap while she read a book, like when they had cuddled together in the past, before everything changed. Her heart ached with the belief she could never make things right enough again, not so that he would trust her. But maybe they could learn to work together again, as she and Piotr had. She put her arm around her stomach. It hurt. She didn't want to just work with him. She wanted her friend back, and she had guaranteed that would never happen.

Today had gone well enough. They'd managed to sit together for hours without fighting. Of course, they'd been working, not trying to be friends. She finished her meal and put the dishes away. This was her life now and she'd have to get used to it.

She went back to the computer room alone, and did some more investigating. She played the video again. She still had a bad feeling about it. It reminded her of some of the hoax videos that went viral, about dead celebrities and impossible sightings. She was watching it in slow motion when Kurt stumbled in.

She spun around in the chair. “You shouldn't be up,” she said, rushing over to take his arm before he fell.

“No, I should be helping you.” He was heavy, putting more of his weight on her than he had before.

“You were always stubborn,” she said, pulling a chair over. He dropped into it with a low moan. “God, Kurt, are you sure you're all right?”

He nodded and waved her concern away. “I'm fine.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. I was watching this again. Notice anything weird?”

He watched it while she played it again, rubbing his chin. “No, honestly.”

“Look at the guy in the back.” She played it again.

“Oh. I see it now. The video has been changed.”

“Right. I think it's fake.”

“The whole video?”

“I think the _resurrections_ are fake.”

Kurt sat back in the chair, then forward abruptly with a wince. “These chairs...” he muttered.

She lowered her eyes. “I'm sorry you got hurt because of me.”

“It wasn't your fault.”

“You said you were looking for me.”

“I was. That doesn't make you responsible.”

She took a deep breath. “But I'm responsible for other things. And I'm sorry for those, too.”

“I appreciate that.” He fidgeted a little.

There had been a time when she would have hugged him after a disagreement. He would have folded her against him and kissed her head and told her it was all right. Or that he was sorry. And they still would have been friends. She cleared her throat and turned back to the computer.

“So. Um. I think it's all fake but I don't have any proof.”

“Why would they fake it? What would be the purpose?”

“They want us to believe the dream. I think...I think that's why I can't use the gates.”

“You have lost me entirely.”

She took a deep breath, still trying to put her thoughts in order. “The dream is a mutant nation that succeeds. But they won't allow precogs, like Irene, right? Well, why? Unless they'll see something bad. And they want to keep me at a distance, too, because...honestly the only reason I can think of is Charles knows I think his dream is bullshit.”

“You do?”

She sighed. “I never thought it would work. Nothing we've ever done for them has worked. They still hate us. They'll always hate us.”

“I didn't know you felt that way.”

“I never told you.”

He looked sad, but he said, “Why do they need us to believe the dream?”

“It's a distraction.”

“Why fake the resurrections?”

“So we'll fight harder. If we think we can't die, we'll take more risks. And I'm not sure they're fake, it's just a hunch.”

“It still doesn't make sense to me. But I trust you.”

“I think we need to go back to Krakoa.”

“You think,” he said, “if we find Moira, we may be able to find the others?”

Kate leaned back in the chair and ran her hands through her hair. “I think it's our best bet.”

“Then we will go to Krakoa.”

“Not you.” She shook her head. “You're in no shape to do any kind of reconnaissance on an island that currently wants us all dead.”

“I'll be healed enough in a few days. You aren't leaving me behind.”

She looked him in the eyes and said, “You aren't in charge here.”

  
  


“You want to go back to Krakoa?” Emma said. “How do you plan to do that without getting caught? It's immune to your powers.”

“I know. But that's where the answers are, and probably the rest of our friends.” Kate stood in front of all of them, laying out what she had decided. “Voluntary mission. Kurt stays here.”

Kurt sat in a corner of the couch with his arms crossed, face set in a scowl he openly directed at her.

One by one, the others all stepped forward.

“I want to find them,” Ororo said.

“And I want answers,” Emma said.

Kate was proud of her team, her _friends_. “I'll give us a day to prepare and then we'll take the _Marauder_ back to the island. They'll know we're coming no matter what, so let's prepare to engage as soon as we get close enough.”

When the meeting was over, Kate left the room, ignoring Kurt's pointed stare. She took her notebook back to Christian's computer room, trying once again to find anything on the Krakoan internet. It was still down, but surveillance showed changes on the island. Growth.

Places that had been bare were now green again. And the hole was closing up.


	10. Walk Back

Hoax videos and manipulating the world's most powerful telepath and keeping precogs off the island...Kate turned the information over and over in her mind, looking for more clues or a pattern, something that would tell her what Moira was up to. So far, she only had guesses. She took her notebook into the main room for a change of scenery, hoping it would inspire a fresh idea. She sat at the end of one of the couches tapping her pen on her chin, glad Kurt was gone.

What did she know? Moira had attacked her with clones. Xavier's helmet controlled the island. Sabretooth and Shaw had escaped. The islands' inhabitants, including the X-Men, were missing. And she recalled from her time in the computer room on Krakoa that someone, presumably Moira, had made elaborate plans to kill numerous important mutants over time, eventually wiping out the entire Quiet Council. She believed the resurrections were being faked, and possibly some other aspects of Cerebro. It was perfectly obvious something was wrong on Krakoa, and somehow Moira was behind it all. She just didn't know _why_. And the only way to find out was to go there. Which was why Kurt was currently furious with her.

Taking him along was too much of a risk. His back was a mess. He was healing but it had only been a day, and he wasn't Wolverine. He was also incredibly stubborn when it came to injuries. She rubbed her head and got up. She needed a break. She felt like the answers were so close, but she couldn't quite grasp them.

Having Kurt here, even when he wasn't in the room, made it impossible for her to think straight for more than a minute. Every time she thought she was finding her focus, he'd walk past, or someone would say his name, or she'd see his face in her mind. If she was being honest, it didn't matter that he was here. She still thought about him. His face, happy and smiling down at her under the stars. His face, angry and hurt because of what she'd said or done. She tossed her notebook down and stalked out of the room, out of the building and into the frigid temperatures of Nunavut.

Ororo was outside, too, floating on a breeze, beautiful and free. She looked like a dancer in the sky, turning graceful pirouettes and slow motion back flips. Kate watched her until she drifted down beside her.

“Hello, Kate. You must be cold.”

“Yeah, but I needed the fresh air.” She kicked at the snow.

“Have you learned anything?” Ororo said,

“Some. Mostly I have more questions. Krakoa is regrowing, Ororo. The hole is closing, the jungle's growing back. There's still no visual on anyone. It's like they all vanished.”

“They must have gone somewhere. No one vanishes.”

“I know. But I can't figure it out from here. We have to go back.”

“I understand. And I agree with you.”

“Thank you.”

Ororo studied Kate's face. “You're upset because Kurt is angry?”

“No.” She rubbed her arms. “Yes.”

Ororo laughed softly. “You made the right call. We can't afford to lose any more of us. Kurt is in no shape to take on this mission. He'll get over it. ”

“Do you believe that?”

“Not at all. But I said I would support you.”

“You think I should let him come with us?”

“I think it should be his choice.”

Kate started to shiver. She hadn't put on her coat.

“You should go back inside,” Ororo said. “You are freezing.”

“I'm glad you're here,” Kate said, and she hugged Ororo. Maybe she'd been trying too hard to be strong.

  
  


She met Kurt in the hall. His hair was wet, and his shirt clung to damp fur. He turned his back to her and shut the door of his room.

Refusing to let him help on a mission had been his tipping point, the final straw that made him angry. It was a relief, in a way, to have him angry with her. She felt so deserving of it, and she told herself that was why she stood in front of his door, knocking.

She was honestly surprised when he opened it. Yanked it, no less, then turned his back on her again, moving away stiffly without a word.

“You know why I don't want you there,” she said.

“I have fought under far worse conditions. I've fought when I was half-dead.”

“I know.” She folded her arms. “There are no resurrection protocols, Kurt. If you die, that's it.”

“How can you be so sure?”

She sighed. “I'm not. But everything is telling me it's a lie, it's fake, it's some kind of manipulation. We've seen this before. We've been sent to alternate dimensions, we've been mind-controlled. We've lived lives that didn't happen, but we believed them in that moment.”

“I can still fight with you.” His tail whipped back and forth in irritation as he turned to face her, his jaw ticking in irritation.

She threw her hands out. “That's not my point.”

“What is it then?” he snapped, advancing on her. “Are you trying so hard to prove you don't need me, or want me? How strong you are without me?”

“No.” She forced herself to be calm and put her hand on his arm. He pulled away as she said, “I can't let you come along _because_ I need you and I want you and if you die, I will fall apart.”

He studied her face, looking for the lie. Then his shoulders loosened and he ran one hand through his hair. “Those are the same reasons I want to go with you.”

She sat down in his chair and hung her head, silent for a long time. “Then what do we do?”

“We plan. We find a solution we can both agree to.”

“We could...maybe wait another day,” she said. One more day wasn't much, but mutants heal faster than humans, and another twenty-four hours would be better than nothing.

He sat down on the edge of the bed near her and touched her shoulder. She lifted her head, weary with the burden of her guilt and pain. “Kurt?”

He opened his arms to her, and she could not resist him. She flung herself at him, careless of his injuries, arms going tight around his neck. “How can you forgive me?”

“Easily, Kätzchen. You are human like the rest of us.”

“Even after what I did?”

He breathed into her hair, ruffling it slightly. “I suspect you are not entirely at fault.”

“But...”

“You do not typically act without reason.”

“Yes but—”

“I have a proposition. The same one I made a few days ago. Let us begin again.”

“You want to pretend it didn't happen?”

“No, I want to go on as if it isn't the end of our world.”

“Okay but first...” she stood up, and he folded his hands in his lap and waited. “I am sorry for what I did. I've been sorry every day and too stubborn to tell you that my real mistake was walking away from you.”

“Perhaps you would consider walking back to me?”

She nodded and reached hesitantly for his hand. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

  
  


Ororo said nothing when Kate announced they were waiting one more day and taking Kurt with them. There was no telling what they'd encounter on Krakoa, and no way to know if the island would be working with them or against them. Christian had a store of weapons, and she made sure to have swords and knives for cutting away vines.

The plan, as it stood, was for Ororo to circle the island first, while Emma scanned for Moira, Charles, or any of the others. Bobby and Pyro would flank the team as they headed inland to the Council area to inspect whatever remained of the hole. At the rate it was closing, it might be gone. From there, they'd go to the computer room Kate had seen when Krakoa had dragged her there. And hopefully, along the way, they'd find their friends and some answers.


	11. Best Laid Plans

The evening before they left, Kate added more bandages to Kurt's back. His leg wound was healing fine, once she'd removed the chunk of glass from it. They'd packed the Marauder with supplies and gone over the plan too many times.

Now they all sat in Christian's living room playing cards and eating popcorn. So far, Pyro was winning by a lot. Kate tried to relax, but she was nervous about what they'd find when they arrived at Krakoa. Beside her, Ororo and Kurt joked about the game and Pyro's winnings. Kate couldn't settle though. She felt like she was missing something, something important. Finally she got up, discarded her meager winnings, and left. Maybe a long shower would help.

She tried to relax, letting hot water beat on her back and her head. Inevitably, her thoughts strayed from the problems on Krakoa and she leaned her head against the cold tile wall. She was still afraid to have him on the island. What if his usual mobility was hindered, and he couldn't dodge a blow? What if he was captured? What if Krakoa was still working with Moira and dragged him down into that awful blackness? Would it be worse for him than others, able to see what was around him? Was there anything at all?

She dressed and went to her room, the sound of laughter reaching her from the other room. She wanted to join in, but until their friends were safe again, she didn't feel like laughing.

The building shuddered slightly, probably from ice cracking around them. It had been doing that off and on the entire time they'd been there. Christian said the ice had been melting faster than usual, creating huge cracks and crevasses all around the building. He'd had the place shored up in case of trouble. It shuddered again, harder, and Kate reached for her sword. Her boots were by the door, and she put them on, too, before going to the other room.

They looked at her like she had three heads when she appeared, a sword in each hand, and pajama pants sticking out of her boots.

“Christian, how do I see what's outside?” she said, ignoring them.

“I'll go,” Ororo said.

“No. Not until we know—” The building bucked from below, like it was being rammed. Christian ran for his video feed, but there was nothing visible outside.

“It's under us,” Kate said. All her fears were going to come true. Krakoa had come for them at last. It was going to pull all of them down into the earth.

“If it is below us, then we should not be here,” Ororo said, and they ran for the entrance. The floor rolled under their feet, like the sea, throwing them halfway back down the hall. Kate grabbed Pyro's hand and phased him, while the others made their way to the door. They had to get outside before the building collapsed on them.

It was bitter cold in spite of the sun shining on them, but at least they could see. They ran for a stand of rocks nearby, and climbed to the top, huddling together while Pyro and Lockheed made a fire for warmth. The entire building collapsed, sucked into the earth.

Kate felt a hand on her arm and turned. “Like the Black Air building,” Kurt said.

“Yeah, only we weren't living there.” She glanced around. “Do you think we can make it to the _Marauder_?”

“I can take two at a time,” Ororo said.

“We need to go all at once in case it attacks,” Kate said. “Ororo, you take Emma and Christian. I'll take Pyro. The rest of you, get to the ship.” Kate phased, dragging Pyro behind her and racing across the air to the ship, arriving in time to see it pulled under. “Shit.”

Ororo hovered in the air, and Kate stood aloft with Pyro. Bobby and Kurt stood on his ice ramp until it began to crumble. Kate grabbed for them, and desperately tried to figure out what to do. She and Ororo couldn't keep everyone aloft forever. Already she felt the strain of phasing so many for so long.

A whirlpool began to form where the ship had been, sucking more and more seawater into it, and then parts of the land as well. And Kate began to realize they were slowly sinking.

“We have to get out of here! It's pulling us in!” she screamed, trying to scramble through the air.

Ororo's winds whipped up stronger, but it didn't help. They were going to be sucked into that hole. They struggled against it even as they were pulled in, trying to hold on to one another. Kate wrapped her arms around Lockheed, curling over him even as she kept hold of Pyro's and Kurt's hands.

  
  


It was dark, wet, and cold, and felt like Kate imagined it might feel to be pulled into a vacuum cleaner. There was nothing to hold, and nowhere to land, and she couldn't quite catch a full breath. When they landed roughly on stone ground, they were all soaking wet and gasping for breath.

When she could breathe again and look around, she saw her ship, tipped up on one end, but intact, in the distance, and chunks of rock around them. Seawater had drained into a pit to their other side. Above them, the hole closed up and the space went pitch black. Pyro and Lockheed lit a flame as laughter echoed through the chamber.

“Is it Krakoa?” Kurt whispered in Kate's ear.

“I don't know. Do you see anything?” Even with the flames glowing, they couldn't see past their faces.

“Nothing that wasn't there before.” His hand was curled loosely around her arm, and she was grateful for the comfort. If only she was more comforted.

More laughter bounced against the chamber walls and the team huddled closer.

“There must be a way out,” Kate said. “Besides the way we got in.”

“Can anyone tell where the laughter is coming from?” Ororo said.

It was impossible to tell. Even Wolverine wouldn't have been able to pick it out. And then they didn't have to, because seemingly from the ground itself, someone began to form. Moira.

Kate was furious. She wanted to attack, but she'd lost her sword to save her friends, and now she had no weapon.

“How do you like Krakoa's new dungeon?” Moira said, but she didn't sound anything like Moira.

“What's going on?” Kate demanded, stepping forward and free of Kurt's hand.

“I have finally caught the last of you,” Moira said. “You were very hard to find.”

“You're one of us, Moira, why are you doing this?”

“I am no more one of you than that dragon is. You have no idea what a lot of trouble you are.”

“That's what everyone says,” Bobby said.

“You killed my people! You idiot mutants are responsible for the death of all my people!” Moira seemed to grow larger as she shrieked at them.

“The death of your people?” Ororo said. “We do not even know who your people are.”

Kurt put his hand on Kate's arm, squeezing until she looked at him. While Ororo and Moira argued, he whispered, “This is like the Sidri. They said I had caused them harm, and I did not remember them.”

Kate whispered back, “You think it's something like that?”

He widened his eyes in a silent “maybe” and Kate turned back to Moira, who was laughing again.

“Wouldn't you like to know? Perhaps you could ask one of your precogs? Oh, wait. They weren't resurrected, were they?” She laughed again and disappeared, melting into the stone.

Emma looked around in the dark at the others. “I don't believe that's Moira.”

“Kate, we need to get out of here,” Ororo said, beginning to feel the discomfort of her claustrophobia. “Soon.”

“I can phase us out. Maybe the whole ship, too.” They headed towards it, but the closer they got, the more she realized that was going to be harder than she thought. “I can phase it but I can't move it.”

“I can push it with my winds, but there is not enough air in this chamber,” Ororo said.

“I got an idea,” Bobby said. “Why don't I fill the place with ice? We all get on board, then Pyro melts it. Bingo, water. Then we fire up the engines, Kate phases the whole thing, and we sail right out.”

Christian clapped his shoulder and grinned. “That sounds like a great idea to me.”

“I agree,” Emma said. “Kate?”

“Can't hurt to try. Everybody on board, uh, if you can.” She cocked her head at the sideways ship. “Be careful. This could get tricky.”

“It's like _Titanic_ in reverse,” Bobby said.

Bobby began filling the chamber with ice, covering the ground first, while Kate and the others climbed onto the ship. Emma, in diamond form didn't feel the cold, nor Ororo. Pyro heated himself and Bobby was fine, but Kurt and Kate and Christian were all freezing. Clinging to cold metal handholds was difficult with stiff fingers. At last they made it onto the bridge1, leaning against the closed door, controls above and beside them.

“Once Bobby and Pyro get this place filled up with water, it's going to be a rough drop,” Kate said. “Hope the ship holds up.” She looked over at Kurt, shivering along with her and Christian. “How're you holding up?”

“Fine, Kätzchen.”

“So, shitty like the rest of us?”

He chuckled. “ _Ja_.”

The ship lurched forward and they grabbed for hand holds.

“Does that mean it's melting?” Christian said.

“Looks that way,” Kate said.

Another lurch, and then freefall for several seconds threw them around the bridge and slammed them onto the floor. Kate pushed up, feeling bruises already forming on her shins and elbows from carelessness. She started the engines, and after a fearful few heartbeats, she heard the familiar hum.

She pulled the loudspeaker mic down and called to the rest of them. “Everybody get on the ship.” She could see Bobby whizzing around, still making ice, increasing the depth of the water gradually, while Pyro continued melting it with Lockheed's help. “All right, I think it's enough. Get in here.”

She turned to the rest of them. “I have no idea what's gonna happen when we phase through these walls. We could wind up in the sea. In more rock. Stalled out somewhere. Whatever happens, stay close, and grab on to me if we wind up in rock.” She turned to Kurt. “If we get stuck—”

“I'll get us out.”

There were a lot of them, and she knew what that would mean. She didn't want to think about it. Once Pyro, Bobby, and Lockheed were in the tiny room with her, she put Bobby in charge of driving. “Forward unless you see a better way,” she said, and held on.

1Honestly, what the hell is that room called? Bridge? Cockpit? I don't freaking know. The tiny room where Kate pilots the damn ship. Whatever it's called. Sheesh.


	12. Better Things

They emerged underwater, and immediately shot straight up. When the ship hit the open air, it lurched upward and down again, rocking precariously back and forth before settling. Kate felt seasick for possibly the first time ever. Ororo ran out onto the deck, followed by most of the Marauders.

“Nice work, Bobby,” Kate said. “Take us slowly towards Krakoa, but go the long way around. I want time to think. And I need to be dry. And warm.”

She went out, taking Kurt and Christian with her. They headed below deck, where she showed them cabins and went to her own to assess the damage. Her things were everywhere, but she found clean, dry clothes and after shoving her mattress back onto her bunk, she sat down and peeled off her boots and wet things. She was still cold, but she'd warm up now. Pyro was in the hall, handing Kurt a stack of clothes to borrow.

“How's your cabin?” she asked him.

Pyro shrugged. “A mess, but it was before, so hard to say.”

“Did someone find clothes for Christian?”

“Yeah, but he said he'd rather wear his own.”

“Kurt? You okay?”

“ _Ja_ , _danke_.” He nodded on his way in, and shut the door behind him. It opened before she'd taken a single step down the hall. “Oh, Kätzchen?”

She turned around. “Yeah?”

“Nicely done.”

  
  


It would be several days before they reached Krakoa, and hopefully the cloaking technology Emma had acquired recently—Kate wouldn't admit how she'd gotten it—would keep “Moira” and Krakoa from finding them too soon. Kate wanted a new plan. More strategy. If Moira wasn't Moira MacTaggert, their friend, then who was she? Or what? Had she ever been the person they thought she was? Or had she always been this...other being?

In the morning, she'd plan, but tonight, she was going to get some sleep. She walked the decks, checking on her ship, and her crew, assigning shifts to navigation—she didn't dare make anchor anywhere now—and went back to her cabin. It was still a mess, everything that wasn't bolted down had toppled. Drawers had spilled open and a bottle of whiskey in the corner had broken and spilled all over her dirty laundry. She kicked everything aside and was just lying down when someone knocked on the cabin door.

“Yeah?” she said, because she knew who it was.

Kurt poked his head in. “Everything settled?”

“Just messy,” she said, waving her hands at the room. “How are you feeling?”

He opened the door a little farther and leaned against the frame. “Tired. But all right.”

“Good.” She curled her feet under her on the bunk. “Do you, uh, do you wanna come in?”

“I'm going to bed. I came to say good night.” She stretched her legs out as he turned to go. “ _Mein Gott_ , what did you do to yourself?”

“What?” She looked down at her leg where he was pointing. “Oh, it's a bruise from when we got thrown around. Pretty huh?” She looked at the large purplish splotch on her shin.

“You should put ice on it.”

“I've had enough ice for now. I'll be all right. G'night, Kurt.”

“ _Gute Nacht_ ,” he said, and still didn't go. She could see him debating with himself, almost moving away, then he strode abruptly into the room to kiss the side of her head. “ _Gute Nacht_ ,” he said again.

  
  


Kate slept soundly, and late. Knocking at her door woke her, dragging her face from the pillow, hair spilling all over and in her face. “Ugh...yeah?”

Ororo opened the door. “Are you ill?”

“No, why? Oh god, what time is it?”

“Almost ten.”

Kate sat up and rubbed her face. “I must have been more tired than I thought. Is everything okay?”

“Yes, Pyro is at the helm. Bobby made breakfast.”

“Good. Good. Okay. I'll be there, gimme like five minutes. Or maybe ten.”

She got up, scrounging in the messy room for clothes. A quick change and she was out the door and up on deck. She checked in with Pyro, approved the course, and went down to eat. Kurt was at a table talking to Christian, and she sat beside him with her breakfast. He gave her shoulders a quick squeeze and returned to his meal and conversation. Kate focused on eating.

She wasn't going to screw anything up this time. She'd get him back as a friend and be happy with it. Satisfied. She didn't need anything more from him, but she needed him in her life again. No more pretending.

When Christian finished eating, he excused himself and left, but Kurt stayed behind.

“Hi,” she said.

“ _Guten Morgen_ ,” he said. “You slept late.”

“I know. I can't believe it.” She smiled at him. She couldn't remember the last time she smiled at him because she was genuinely happy. Hopeful.

“You're happy to be back on your ship.”

“Yes, and to have things...better.” _No pretending_. “Better between us.”

“I'm happy about that, too.”

  
  


They were still another day out from Krakoa at least, at their current speed and convoluted course. There was plenty of time to prepare, they hoped, and visit. After Kate had finished making the rounds, she took her turn at the helm and kept lookout for Krakoan vines under the water. The radar should detect anything in time to give them a little warning.

Kurt wandered in halfway through her shift. “Is it all right for me to be in here?”

“It's not off limits or anything,” she said.

“Then I suppose I'm asking if you mind my company?”

“No, I don't mind.”

“I've missed you. So many things happened, and each time I would reach for the phone...” He frowned.

“I...I actually did that, too.”

He raised a brow in surprise.

“Yeah, I know. I should have called you. So, uh, my mom got transferred finally, to the big hospital on the other side of the city. She's been trying for years. Better pay and better hours.”

“That's great.”

“That was six months ago.”

“How does she like it?”

“Fine. Kurt...We missed a lot. Do you wanna catch up? Maybe have some coffee later?”

“Yes. Do you know any nice places?”

She grinned. “Just this one.”

“Should I pick you up?”

“My shift ends at two. You can come by my place.”

He started to leave.

“Or...” Her heart fluttered like a schoolgirl's. “You could wait with me. If you want.”

He leaned back against one of the consoles and folded his arms. “How about if I go pick up some coffee and bring it to you?”

“That sounds perfect. Do you remember—”

“Cream and sugar, with a teabag instead of coffee grounds, _ja_?”

She laughed. “Oh my god, you do remember.”

He tipped his head at her. “How could I forget?”

He brought the tea and coffee, and perched on a stool while she navigated. He asked about her mom again, and she didn't ask about his. He told her about a trip he and Logan had been on, and how they'd wound up getting kicked out of three different bars in one night.

When Ororo came in to relieve Kate, all three stood around and talked a little, before Kate excused herself to get a shower.

She felt lighter now. The threats on Krakoa still loomed, and she would be as likely as ever to die, but making peace with Kurt had relieved her of a burden she hadn't understood the weight of until it was gone. There was a lot to deal with still. Almost a year had passed, and that was a lot of hurt to work through. But taking steps in the right direction again felt good. She felt good.

She hummed a Cat's Laughing tune while she picked up and folded clothes that had spilled from her drawers. Sunlight lit her cabin. The _Marauder_ was running smoothly. Until they reached Krakoa, everything was temporarily wonderful.

When she finished putting her clothes and things away, she went looking for Kurt. He was genuinely surprised to see her in his doorway.

“I hope you don't mind,” she said, when she saw the surprise on his face.

“No, no, of course not.”

“I haven't exactly been seeking you out much, have I?”

He rubbed his neck. “No.”

“Can I come in?”

He bowed, not quite all the way, and she stepped into the mostly empty room. “Please.”

She looked at her hands. Years ago, she'd felt at home in his room, wherever they'd lived. They'd watched countless movies in his room, on his bed even. They had been so close. She blinked out of her reverie, trying to focus on the present instead of the past. The past was gone. She had to move forward now.

“There isn't much to do on board, but we do have movies,” she said.

“Any good ones?”

She laughed. “I picked most of them so _yes_.”

He leaned closer. “Any _really_ good ones?”

“I actually do have a few Errol Flynns. I got them in case...”

His expression softened, and she wrapped her arms around her waist. She'd gotten them in a moment of weakness, when she thought she might ask him to join the Marauders. She never had, but she'd kept the movies anyway, telling herself she'd paid for them so she might as well put them on the shelf.

He held out his hand, waiting until she took it. “Let's go watch something we both like, hm?”

  
  


Below decks, there were several living spaces, including a dining hall and lounge. In the lounge, Kate showed Kurt the glass front shelf with movies behind it.

He opened it and pulled one out, screwing up his face as he read the back.

“That's one of Pyro's,” she said.

“Ah, well. That explains it.”

“Here's a better one,” she said, handing him a different one. “Have you seen this one?”

He shook his head. “No. I remember when it was in the theater, and I wanted to see it but...” he paused. “You weren't around.”

“You wanna watch it now?”

“I would.”

He sat on the couch, while Kate set everything up. She stood while the movie loaded, stalling while she decided where to sit. Beside him? In the chair? She'd never had to think about it before. When the movie started, he patted the seat beside him, and she sat, feeling awkward until he put his arm around her shoulders and eased her back against him.

“Do you remember,” he said when the movie started, “the time we watched that dinosaur movie?”

Kate paused the movie. “Yeah. Everyone in the school wanted to see it.”

“And you walked through all of them on the couch to sit by me?”

She smiled and blushed. “I remember.”

“I don't think you knew that day how much it meant that I was the one person you wanted to sit beside. Me, out of all of them.”

She looked at his hand lying curled against his thigh, and reached for it. Her fingers fell into place between his, and she leaned into his shoulder.

“And after that,” he said softly, tucking her head under his chin, “you always got to sit beside me.”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“It's nice to have you by my side again.”

She tipped her head up and smiled. “It's nice to be here.”


	13. Care and Keeping of Swords

From a distance, the island looked the same as it had when they left. Kate was shocked that they'd come so close without incident. She stood on deck with her crew, the _Marauder_ moored offshore at the greatest possible distance.

Ororo was in the air already, carrying out their plan. If nothing went wrong, she would return to them shortly and they'd move inland. Kate waited, impatient and nervous, while the water lapped at the sides of her ship and rocked it gently. Beside her, Kurt leaned on the railing, his tail swishing back and forth. The extra days they'd taken to approach the island had given Kurt's injuries more time to heal, and he was moving almost like himself again.

“Krakoa is impervious to our powers,” Kate said.

“Hopefully it won't matter,” Kurt said.

“What're we looking for when we get there?” Bobby said.

Kate listed off the few things she knew were there, including Moira and the giant hole at the Council circle. Ororo flew down beside them as Kate finished.

“The island appears deserted,” she said. “I didn't—”

She was interrupted by Pyro rushing onto the deck, “Kate, you have to see this. Moira's on the news.”

He held out his phone, playing a piece from his hometown news station. It was indeed Moira, or whoever was masquerading as Moira. She was being interviewed about the recent events on Krakoa.

“The island recently erupted in violence, is that right, Dr. MacTaggert?” asked the reporter.

“Yes, unfortunately some of our safety protocols failed and a few of our more violent mutants became aggressive. They attacked the population and the island retaliated. To my knowledge, all inhabitants of the island have perished.”

The deck of the Marauder was silent as the reporter continued.

“How did you escape?”

“I was off-island at the time, as well as a few others. I have yet to locate them.”

“Thank you, Doctor. Back to you, Ned.”

Pyro shut off the video and stood with the rest of them.

“So she just announced to the world that we attacked ourselves and died,” Bobby said.

Kate shook her head. “I won't believe it until we find their bodies,” she said, turning to Kurt, who nodded his agreement. “We've made this mistake before.”

Bobby and Ororo said nothing.

“We stick to the plan,” Kate said. “Everyone grab weapons and head to the Council circle.”

Kate expected Krakoa to attack the moment they set foot on the sand, but nothing happened. They walked through the jungle, which no longer seemed to move out of their way as they walked. They avoided damaging any of the island's plant life, instead crawling over and under vines that blocked their path.

The Council circle was abandoned, but not overgrown, even with Krakoa's unusually fast rate of plant growth. The center of the circle seemed unbroken, as if the giant, gaping hole had never existed.

“Let's try to find that computer lab,” Kate said.

It took some looking, but they found it. None of the computers were operational. There was no power on the island anymore. Kate had them pull all the computers away from the wall so she could pull out their hard drives and upload them on the _Marauder_ later.

A strong gust of wind blew through the room, and Ororo perked up. “That is not natural,” she said.

“Let's get back to the Council circle,” Kate said, handing each of them a hard drive to tuck away. As they approached, the ground began to shake, and the team braced for attack. Instead, they were swept along as they'd been in Nunavut, the ground rolling like a wave to carry them forward, dumping them into the center of the Council circle, where Moira stood with Xavier, waiting.

“You escaped,” she said, frowning. “No matter. We'll let you find your friend and that will solve my problem just as easily.”

“Where are they?” Kate demanded.

“Perfectly safe until their oxygen runs out,” Moira said. “They're staying at the Summers' residence.”

“They're on the moon?” Bobby said, “You put the entire island's population on the moon?”

“The house isn't large enough,” Ororo said.

“No it isn't. Luckily they were able to expand. Of course, it won't do them any good. The gates don't work any longer and they're trapped.”

Kate fumed. “If the rest of your people are as hateful as you, it's no wonder they're all dead!”

Moira's face shifted, and for a moment, she didn't look human at all.

In the distraction, Kurt teleported to Xavier and grabbed him, dragging him away from Moira, who whirled and brandished claws she definitely had not had before. Kurt dodged her strikes, teleporting back to the team with Xavier.

“Professor, wake up!” Ororo shouted at him. He wore a new Cerebro helmet, and did not respond. Across the circle, the Moira creature laughed its evil laugh and the ground opened up below them.

Moira jumped in, and Xavier tore himself free of the team and followed.

A shared glance later, and the team was going in after them.

  
  


Pyro and Lockheed lit the space up, but it was almost useless. The space was so dark it seemed to swallow the light. They followed the sound of Moira's laughter until it stopped.

“Where are they?” Emma asked, trying to see in the dark as Pyro increased his flames.

“They're gone,” Kurt said. “I believe we've been duped.”

Kate let fly a string of angry curses, and then stopped when she heard a panicked sound from Ororo. She was breathing rapidly, gasping for air and flailing her arms. “Ororo, try to stay calm. We're going to get out.” She grabbed for her hands, but Ororo pulled free and fainted at the same time Pyro's flame went out.

“What the—”

“Our powers are gone,” Emma said. “That's what this place does. To keep mutants trapped.”

“This is evil,” Kate said. “When we get out of here and fix this, we're stopping this. I can't believe you and Ororo went along with it in the first place,” she said to Kurt.

She couldn't see a thing, only feel Ororo's hands in her own.

“I see vines,” Kurt said. “Or roots. They lead up. Perhaps we can climb out. The vines are not holding us.”

“Climb up to what?” Kate said. “The hole is closed.”

“It's dirt,” Emma said. “Maybe we can dig our way out.”

“I haven't climbed a rope since gym class,” Pyro said as he took the vine Kurt handed him. “How come his power still works?”

“Kurt's night vision isn't part of his mutation,” Kate said. Ororo had awakened, but was trembling and crying. “I can't carry her.”

“What?” Ororo mumbled.

“We're going to climb out,” Kate said. “Kurt found vines. Can you climb?”

“To get out, I can do anything,” she said, taking hold of a vine when Kurt placed it in her hand. Kate remembered why she was always a little in awe of Ororo.

Once they all had vines, they began to climb. It was a long climb, but Kurt explained how to twist the vines around their hands and feet if they needed to rest, so they wouldn't fall.

“Circus tricks, who knew?” Bobby said, testing out the technique.

“We are almost there,” Kurt announced later, after if felt like they'd been climbing for days.

Kate felt her head brush against something solid and wrapped the vines to hold herself in place as they all began clawing at the dirt above them.

It filled up as soon as they made a dent. Kate dug furiously, angry and scared. She didn't notice the tears streaming down her face or the way the dirt chafed her hands after a while. Suddenly a shaft of light shot through the darkness, shocking all of them with its brightness.

Ororo lunged for it as it continued to grow.

“I don't know why it's opening up over there, but let's not ask questions,” Pyro said as he, too, leaped towards the hole.

One by one, they crawled through the hole and looked around. They were not in the Council circle.

“Where the hell are we?” Emma said as she was helped up through the hole. The climb had been especially difficult for her, and though she hated to appear weak, she sat on the ground, arms limp in her lap.

They were in another control room, but this one seemed to have power. “I think Krakoa just helped us out,” Kate said as she inspected the computers. “This is the Cerebro control room.”

“If we shut it down, maybe Krakoa will reopen the gates and our friends can return,” Kurt said.

“I'm already working on it,” Kate said. “Keep Moira and Charles away if they show up.”

When Cerebro shut down, it took only seconds for gates to begin opening up all over the island. The team split up to find the X-Men and gather them to fight the thing that was Moira.

  
  


With Cerebro disabled, Moira's control of the island was lost. And without the island to help her, she was easily captured by the team and subdued. Charles would require medical attention, but Hank and Cecelia were already attending to him.

Moira was taken to a holding cell created by Krakoa, above-ground, where she could be interrogated and then consulted.

“If you had come to us in the first place,” Emma said, “We could have simply talked things over. You can guide us and insure your people aren't killed.”

“As if you'd listen.”

“Things are different now,” Scott said.

Kate was glad to hand Moira over to the rest of the team. She wasn't eager to hang around on Krakoa, even knowing it wouldn't try to kill her anymore. She headed for Red Keep, beginning the long walk across the island.

Kurt had been debriefing some of the X-Men, but when she passed them, he stopped and ran to her. “Still walking?” he said.

“Can't use the gates.”

“Still?”

She stopped. “I—I didn't think to try, actually.”

Kurt pulled a flower off a vine and a gate grew up in front of them. “A shortcut to Red Keep,” he said. “Try it with me?”

“I broke my nose last time.”

“You'll go slowly this time, and I'll be with you.”

She took the hand he held out and stood in front of the gate with him. What would it feel like to pass through one of the Krakoan gates? Would it impart new information to her? Emma had telepathically implanted the language in her mind already. She hesitated.

“Just try your hand,” Kurt said, demonstrating.

Kate reached out and gasped as her hand passed through the light. She stepped forward and walked through the gate with Kurt.

  
  


Red Keep stood in front of them.

“Oh my god,” she said. “It worked.”

“It makes sense. Moira, or the Moira alien rather, was controlling it. For whatever reason she decided you were a threat and kept you out.”

“But I can't see the future.”

“Perhaps she knew you'd figure it out and wanted to keep you away.”

Kate shook her head, still in disbelief. “All this time, I thought something was wrong with me. That I didn't belong. I thought it was...” she dropped his hand and walked towards the door of Red Keep.

“Punishment?” Kurt said, and she gave a little half-shrug.

“Maybe. You wanna come in? My swords are still a mess.”

“You didn't finish cleaning them?” he said, nearly shoving her aside in his haste to see them.

“I was too busy running.”

He pulled one of the swords out of the stand and sighed, then dropped it back in. “They are a mess,” he said. “Really, Kätzchen, I taught you better than that.”

“Yes, you did.” She stared at the rack, thinking. “Everyone else is out there putting the island back together. Do you think...” She kept her eyes on the swords, chewing her lip and telling herself to stop being so afraid. “Do you think we could stay here and fix these?” She waved her hand at the swords.

“You know I would be happy to do that.” He looked around. “Do you have a kitchen? We can eat while we work on them.”

“In there,” she said, pointing. “You want some coffee or tea or whiskey?”

He chuckled. “I'll take tea for now. Playing with swords is best done with a level head.”

  
  


They sat on the floor, swords scattered around them, with tea and popcorn between them. Kurt showed her how to get the polish from Krakoa, and they set to work on the swords, some of which were badly banged up.

“Look at this one,” Kate said, frowning. “What a mess.”

Kurt took it from her, holding it gingerly in his hands as he examined the damage. “It's in rough shape. But all of it can be repaired with the right care and patience.” He smiled at her.

“You think even that one, as bad as it is?”

“Even this one,” he said, putting the sword in his lap, and patting her knee.


	14. Epilogue

Kate looked up through the space between branches and gazed at the stars. It was a warm night on Krakoa, and at Red Keep, there weren't many lights to dull the beauty of the night sky. The roof of the keep had been flattened with help from Krakoa, and Kate had laid out a thick blanket and pillows to relax there.

She listened to the sounds from within her house as Kurt finished making their drinks. He wanted her to try a new Krakoan juice that he swore tasted like cherries and bananas, but came from neither fruit. He handed the cups to her and leaped up through the doorway to join her. Kate sat up and tasted the drink timidly.

“Oh, weird,” she said. “It does taste like cherries and bananas.” She took another sip. “It's kind of good.”

“I thought you'd like it.”

Months had passed since Moira had been stopped, and Krakoa was a different island. In some ways it was the same, but the Quiet Council had made a few major changes, the first of which was to stop incarcerating their criminals in the earth for eternity.

Kate still went out with the Marauders regularly, but between missions, she now felt she had a home to return to. And if he didn't come along, Kurt was usually waiting for her when she returned. His Council duties meant he couldn't be a permanent member of the crew, but whenever possible, he enjoyed living the pirate life.

They weren't dating. They hadn't touched the word even once. Kate was sure that ship had sailed, and she'd made her peace with it. They were friends again, she didn't know how, but they were. And it was enough.

And yet, on nights like this, when they were looking up at the stars, she couldn't help but think of another night, when things had changed drastically, and how things might have gone if she hadn't made such foolish choices.

“Found it,” Kurt said, pointing at the sky. “Big Dipper, right there.”

“That's the Little Dipper,” she said, elbowing him.

“Honestly, I have no idea what I'm looking at,” he said, “I am more interested in the company.”

“We should get a book about the constellations,” she said, ignoring his comment. He'd been making them more often lately, and it scared her. “Then we can find them.”

He rolled onto his stomach and looked at her. “I am happy, Kätzchen,” he said.

She smiled. “Me, too.”

“There is something I keep thinking about, though, and I'd like to ask you about it.”

Her stomach turned over but she said, “Okay.”

“Months ago, in Canada, you said you were still in love with me. Was that true?”

The temptation to lie was right there, but she said, “Yes.”

He looked away, thinking, and she could tell because his eyes disappeared when he turned away from her. The meager light of the crescent moon did little to illuminate him in the dark.

“Do you think,” he said slowly, turning those glowing eyes back to her, “you might consider giving us another chance?”

Again, the fear rose up. “I would have to think about it,” she said. “I can't go through this again.”

“Nor can I.” His eyes moved lower as he rested his chin on his hands. “But I love you, and I think it bears discussion at least.”

“Yes. I agree.” She looked at the sky and said, “You have a reputation.”

“I know. So do you.”

“I know. I make terrible dating choices.”

“Funny. That's the same problem I have.”

Kate laughed. “Somehow I don't think it's the same.”

“I am not looking for a fling, Kätzchen. Not from you, I never was.”

Her smile fell away. “I...I think I always knew that.”

“Oh.” She heard the disappointment in his voice, and she knew what he must be thinking. She didn't want anything long term with him. With someone who looked like him. The same as so many others.

“I haven't been able to keep a boyfriend for more than six months, Kurt. They always leave. And if that happened again, with you...it scares me.”

“The future is something only precogs can see, and even then it is only the suggestion of what might happen. Nothing in life is guaranteed. But,” he said, shifting on his elbows again, “I never stopped loving you, not even for a day. And I'm still here.”

“Y'know...that's true, and we did make it through something pretty terrible.” She reached hesitantly for him in the dark, seeking his hand and finding his arm. “Seems like that puts the odds in our favor.”

“We could take our time and see what happens.”

“We could always stop if things get weird.”

“Kätzchen, would you go out with me?”

“Yes.”

The white of his teeth was barely visible in the dark when he smiled. She put her arm around him and he laid his head on her shoulder so they could both see the stars.


End file.
